My Lingering Respect

Forgive my lingering respect for life
It fades with the dawn
It dies with the coming of knowledge
The light washes away what I once was
A belief, a concept, a mindless thought
Evicted from a place of mortal suffering
I doubt my existence

I did not make a covenant with his blood
He did not shed it for me
They sold me a dream and it was only a dream
False as the life that I led
As I watched him die on the cross
I knew I was still not saved from death
And that I was alone

So forgive my lingering respect for life
Tears grace what I once believed were my cheeks
A face I do not have, but only thought...
And I surrender myself to the light
To the eternal sadness that will not leave me
I weep, for what?  For whom?
Love was a shadow
Joy was an illusion
What becomes of me?

Sadly as life ebbs away into the light
I make thee now my covenant
A place... a time... somewhere.. somehow
Do not let me disappear....