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Realizations

My legs give out as I see you run past
"Please wait! Hold on! You're going to fast!"
I sink to the ground as I start to cry
My head hits the floor and I look up at the sky
Two shining stars twinkle their greeting
Two hearts in the sky gently beating
One shines with a fiercness the other does not match
I realize that this is my rightful path
Your love is not needed, my tears will dry
And someday I will learn to fly

Author notes


Option 2(funky cows milk)

A contest entry

What did you think

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Comments

1 - 14 of 14

  • Dangerousparable silver member
    April 27
    Edit | Reply

    where it's at

    excellent little jouney yoou hve taken us on
    ty


  • ScarletO gold member
    April 15

    Edit | Reply
    Well DONE! I like your rhyme and the beat of this rhythm. Flows very nicely and gives a message about love.


  • trekkergirl
    March 29

    Edit | Reply
    ahhhh a heart-break write if I ever read one. Not a good thing to realize that a friend/lover is lost to you and that you need to go on without them. Thanks for sharing this with us.


  • Selestial
    March 8

    Edit | Reply

    Really Good!

    This was very well written! I love rhyming verses.. and I ESPECIALLY love it when I don't trip over the meter in reading it.. when everything fits just right! GOOD WORK!


  • Shannon62875
    February 20

    Edit | Reply
    Very good... and your right some day you will learn that you dont need someone to be happy, it should just happen... but once you find love, its amazing.. keep up the great work and good luck in my contest!

    Shannon*Leah


  • ChelseySmile
    February 10
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks for following my rules,but it doesn't seem to fit the options.


  • Jaffa-
    February 2

    Edit | Reply
    I really enjoyed this. The rhyme was great and didn't seem forced. I really loved the last two lines. very well done and thanks for the entry


  • Gypsy Via Orleans
    January 25
    Edit | Reply
    this was very emotional.i absolutely loved the last two lines.


  • Kathraina silver member
    January 10

    Edit | Reply
    Aww so sad, yet sweet. Love the simplicity, yet deep emotion behind it. Great flow and imagery too! Great job and good luck!

    ♥ Kathraina


  • Umi Juvariel
    January 8
    Edit | Reply
    I liked this. It was short and simple, yet had so much emotion hidden in it's folds. The wording and rhythm were well done, and the rhymes were near perfect. I loved the alliteration, and thought that, even though sad in places, this was a very uplifting poem. Great write.


  • Kathraina silver member
    January 7
    Edit | Reply
    What was the prompt you used?

    • bookwrm1324
      January 8
      Edit | Reply
      for this? i didnt use a prompt for this one. i used prompt 1 for black rose (the contest one)


      • Kathraina silver member
        January 8
        Edit | Reply
        mmk i jus needed to know so i could comment (im the judge)


  • xkadiex
    December 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    aww huni this was so well writen and so much emotion well done

1 - 14 of 14