He stands alone
on Saturn's equatorial surface
beckoning me to follow
into the hazy encrusted light.
My soul, once pure
Now fading into smoke, hazy
feelings long gone
reminiscence foretold beyond times
And he beckons.
Author notes
www.anonymousspace.com Option number 2
A contest entry
- 13/30/30 Quickie by Sweet Impatience.
1100 points, ended December 27, 2008, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you feel when you read this?
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
-
Hmm...simply amazing(:. I loved these lines "My soul, once pure
Now fading into smoke, hazy
feelings long gone
reminiscence foretold beyond times" I'm jealous of your writing skills =P. ;;
-
This is good and sad
Great imagery.
-
Goes really well with that pic prompt I think.
I liked this - great wording and images! Has a sad feel to it also.
Nicely done!! -
Beautiful and Sad
This is beautiful and quite sad too. I really do like the background as it adds a lot to your piece here. I feel the desolation within this piece. You have caught the atmosphere of what you were trying to convey, well. Well done for this, and keep writing. You have talent.
Dark Wishes
Wayne Leon
-
Love this, it tells a story of a transition through really great imagery.
-
Nice
VERY GOOD.Keep writing like this.
-
You've truly outdone my expectations here. You have penned and pieced together that which I thought was impossible. A priceless artifact that wil gain worth and greatness through time is what I see with this. This truly deserved to win the contest. You did an amazing job with this and I look forward to reading much more from you in the future. Keep that ink fresh & flowing free.
-
The words in your poem seem to refer to the transition that is impending; one of a magnitude that no one and nothing can escape it. We may detect shifts in matters and the intangible that are so unfamiliar to us that we find them disturbing. Yet on a scale encompassing the entire universe such changes may be necessary, unavoidable, an integral part of the universal system. Impatience on a billion year scale seems futile, but perhaps the tendency to respond in such a way is also part of the system. Thank you for creating and sharing. I wish you the best in the contest and good fortune concerning your father's health. Take care.
-
Nice! It has a spiritual feel. Saturn is a very romantic planet, but I hear it's very cold there!
Beautiful job on this one.
-
Definitely intriguing, especially when you reveal to be on another planet entirely. Filled with mysticism and a sense of mysterious innuendo. Very nice and good luck in the contest.
-
Beautifully Romantic!!
Wishing you all the best, Chrissy!! 
Peace, xx Cyn 
-
Great imagery and take on the picture.
-
I like your take on the prompt. the imagery is great..
thank you for placing the link & the option number in your an for me.
good luck
kat
-
Ah you let your mind go and felt this. Exquisite my friend.I love the way you write.
-
Amazing
I am amazed at the intensity of this write!!! I am honored to put up against such amazing talent. Great write and best of luck in the contest. Yours,Gypsy
Adding your comment:
1 - 15 of 15
