It was a beutiful clear day
As me and daddy sat near the bay.
He took out he's fish rod and I said hurray.
We walked along throw the grass near as he showed me the way.
The fish began to swim away.
He told me to stop splashing but I disobey.
There something that cute my eye and dad said That it was the prey.
It was and enourmously large and astray.
The morning sun was casting down.
know there werent many fish around.
So my daddy got up and said lets go back to town.
So I said bye to the fish with a frown.
A contest entry
- The Eye Of A Child. Picture Pompt. by Pete Greenslade.
400 points, ended December 29, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you think of the poem?
Comments
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Imagery is well portrayed here
There are mistakes in this poem too but here I'll just talk about your poem, and a nice little poem you have here. Great imagery of a child out fishing with daddy. Nice flow to it as well, one can easily picture in mind the story you tell in your poem. Well done and thanks for sharing.
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A good write. Heartfelt. A fun description of spending the day fishing with daddy. Good imagery,
flow, rhyme and tone. Nice depth of feeling. Vivid descriptives. You paint a delightful picture of your time spent with your dad. Nice closing verse. Thanks for sharing.
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thank you for the light hearted moment.. fun for the boy , not obeying daddy , good luck in my contest
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