Virgin concrete is screaming words I chose.
Slut-eyes drink me.
Peak hour traffic is candy.
Every window is a mirror and I'm pretty pretty pretty -
eyes painted large clothes on backwards and one million pleasant smells.
I stalker prowl my haunts with model posture and razor blade smiles.
Author notes
I like to hang out in partially built houses and to take long walks alone through suburbia.
A contest entry
- Benjamin's Better Than You. by Asabouros..
700 points, ended January 1, 4 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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I liked the phrase "razor blade smiles". nice job
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amazing poem
very well penned
so much comes to one's mind with all the imagery
and metaphors you've written -
This is awesome
But it's pleasant not pleasent. Sorry, I'm a bit of a spelling Nazi
Really love it though!
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Oh, I understand completely. I loathe bad spelling. I'm a shocking speller by nature, I just have to teach myself to spell every individual word. So I still make errors, but I do make an effort, and once you correct me on something once, I rarely make the same mistake again. Thanks for that!
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I love this; narrative, a bit peculiar, with interesting imagery and great use of brevity. I felt a bit put down by how nearly every line is a sentence, but apart from that this is wonderful writing. Keep it up & good luck in the contest.
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You're right, it would be better to break the sentences up a bit more. I'll try and do that if I come back and edit. Thanks
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