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Iambics

I am enticed by the iambics felt
in tides between my heart, your tongue;
I know dark orchids hem your stilted voice 
and yet your kiss unfolds me lip by lip.
Each line you've breathed has been exhumed before
by a more faithful heartbeat than your own.
Am I in love with practiced whispers pulled
from mouths of dead romantics, rhythm cursed?

Author notes

Word: Iambics

poem in iambic meter, of course

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • hawkeslake gold member
    February 5

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    Beautifully phrased with the iambic feet never feeling forced. Whether this is about your own dilemma, or about a lover who seems a bit too practiced, or something else altogether in the reader's imagination, this is a very intriguing. I very much enjoyed reading this.


  • Nangaleema
    January 8

    Edit | Reply
    i like the imagery in this piece - they feel unusual, fresh. my favorite part is:
    "I know dark orchids hem your stilted voice
    and yet your kiss unfolds me lip by lip." - neat! i enjoyed this. - NANGALEEMA


  • Harrisham Minhas
    January 3

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    This is an interesting portrayal of your thoughts.
    Well-expressed.
    Congrats on the Bronze.




  • The Fun House gold member
    January 3

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    Outstanding piece. I do think you could get away with not using the question mark at the end and it would still be powerful, yet give it a new dynamic and leave it more blunt and open for interpretation.

  • Beautiful Irony
    December 29, 2008

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    Wow, I like this. I am completely incapable of writing in this form, which makes me all the more impressed! This has the best description of all the works I've read all day. the language is so... poetic (yes, I know that seems obvious!), it's beautiful. This is a great piece, it flows out in front of you. This is going to sound really weird, but it almost unfolds in front of you, and you (well, I) feel like I'm eavesdropping on personal feelings. This is a great, brilliant, fantastic write!


    • JM Kenyon silver member
      December 29, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks so much for your comment. It is personal feling, but more directed to the my own dilemma of; to rhyme or not to rhyme

      S ~Genie~

  • Sandra R Reynolds silver member
    December 27, 2008
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    Interesting with a great flow. (Talloaks former student)

1 - 7 of 7