Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Saihokushū Revisited


Wandering the garden
searching in silence
the emanations
of my heart.

The beauty of life
astounds;
with its colors,
lines, textures
and shadows
harmonizing in the
elegant song of soul.

I am drunk with
love's caresses
upon my eyes,
filling my heart
with wonder.

The emanations
from my heart
are but echoes
of the balance
and harmony
of the garden
and the grace
and beauty
of the gardener.

The garden
is my heart,
you are
the gardener
and love is
the song.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

From a picture prompt provided by Lauren

In a list

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 8 of 8
  • luvdrkchocolate
    December 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh. This is a nice little poem that you have going on here. It is so sweet and gentle. The picture was very intriguing and I loved the contrast of new and old but also the continiousness of it. I think that's what you were trying to say in your poem too, right? I thought you did a good job of expressing yourself here.


  • XxMeaganxStrangexX
    December 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful.

    You created the literal image of a garden, while refering to your own feelings...it makes you think of the beautiful details of every single drop of dew on the leaves of emerald trees in the morning. ANd you beautifully referred it as your own feelings tied with love.


  • Clovis...Curious silver member
    December 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Superb Plus

    You have described almost to perfection, how I feel when I sit in the Seattle Arboretum and write my poetry. Most excellent imagery, indeed.


  • Debbysmiles gold member
    December 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Breathtakingly beautiful !!

    This is absolutely beautiful !! I don't know if a better work of art could have been written from the picture prompt. It is so perfect and flowing. A true pleasure to read. d


  • forethought
    December 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is a very interesting piece, and it was very enjoyable to read. It is quite pretty in its' starkness, and the plain background helped to accentuate the free-verse style and easy flow. There is a littel bit of repition that perhaps could be changed with a few synonyms, but other than that is a simple, enjoyable poem that is like a tall class of water; refreshing - but not truly memorable.

    Thank you for sharing this with us. I would give you a little smiley face, but i have none left = (


  • vamp-angel
    December 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    i like it. it was very sweet.


  • motel silver member
    December 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    a simple, beautiful piece ... the images of the garden are so tender and wonderful regarding this theme.
    Kokan Shiren would've loved the simplicity and what it evokes.
    thanks.


  • StarEyes
    December 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh my goodness! What a read this one is! WOW! There is magic in your words, and it is pure, and touching at that! What a wonderful read this one is!

    and love

    Nyetta

1 - 8 of 8