"You, Year of Trials, await the guillotine
Reflecting on the past. What's done is done.
But now is the time for coming clean.
If all days prior were lost, let there be one
To nullify those hours of misery!"
So begs the victim of a bastard year.
"Please, set a good example for your child
Unlike the preceding for I fear
Too much has been destroyed, undone, defiled.
Still, just one day could change my destiny!"
The year, though old and tired, notes the plea
And recollects the year that came before,
"I took that same weathered road and see
I could have been remembered as much more.
I could have lifted several centuries!
"It's not too late. The New Year's not come yet.
I've still another couple days to try
And rectify my wrongs. The basket's set
But I will let you live before I die,
With hopes next year is modeled after me."
A contest entry
- Winklings # 150 Write a New Year Poem ~ all of AP by Ronald Wiseman.
1750 points, ended January 15, 2009, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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I agree your form is well written but it is not obvious the subject. I find the poem a little too abstract. Thank you for sharing your poetry with me.
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Pamela A Lamppa really got what I was trying to say. I also did my best offering an explanation previously to EarthToJim if you are interested. I know it is one of my vaguest poems... Thanks for reading.
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This poem is very well-written.
Dear poet, you have allowed two things to inform your poem: the extended metaphor of the guillotine and thoughts before the execution.
Your method admirably suits the purpose and the requirements of this contest.
I am attracted to your consistent, regular rhyme:
abab pattern with a final line rhyming as a double rhyme (c) from stanza to stanza.
I also admire the solidity of your decasyllabic lines which are rising rhythm and usually iambic or anapestic pentameters. Good title ... catches the eye ... and a fine exposition of evocative and suggestive poetry for the good of society [unlike the excesses of the French Revolution, ironically!] and that's positive.
This is a controlled, imaginative effort.
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"The year, though old and tired, notes the plea
And recollects the year that came before,
"I took that same weathered road and see
I could have been remembered as much more.
I could have lifted several centuries!"
This stanza is the one that brought it all together for me. Truly, if we keep following the same path, our future will indeed be like our past.
Imagine - if everyone stood up to make just ONE positive change - imagine ...
A very thought provoking piece that takes several reads to truly absorb the intense thought and emotion that went into writing this poem.
I love the title. Reading it, I could not imagine what awaited me given the contest prompt - I was not disappointed.
Strong. Powerful.
Thank you for a splendid entry. Best of luck in the judging. ~Pamela
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Thank you. I believe you are the first person to really grasp what I was trying to say.
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It isn't a self explanatory poem, especially for dullards such as myself, but it is a beautifully flowing and thought provoking poem. Very interesting... glad I stopped by to see what you were up to. Glad to see the updated picture as well (woo hoo!!!) very nice!
Best wishes to you in the impending year ahead which is sure to be full of trials and disappointments as Mr. "Sacrifice" takes the helm.
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Thank you. It is nice to see your name again.
I know it is quite a vague poem. I was just recollecting on 2008 and how much it was like a copy of 2007, thus the idea of the previous year determining or - as more personified in the poem - being an example to the coming year came to my mind. And so the poem is about a person begging the old year to come around before its death so that the coming year will mimick its good deeds rather than its bad. I hope this makes sense. It makes sense in my head, but it is hard to explain as it is almost as much about real people as it is about years...
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Outstanding
This starts out as a dark poem which finds little good in what has been a difficult year and yet the poem ends on a lighter note as you look forward to the new year though you have little time to reset the balance. The rhyme is strong and this poem has great flow. Best of luck in the contest.
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GLORIOUS!
Beautifully twisted frodo! I actually felt like a revolutionary era frenchman standing in a crowd, screaming obscenities, cheering on the executioner, throwing shoes and vegtables, and altogether hating on 2008.
I am not sure, but I think I noticed an incorrect tense in line 11. Looks like weather should be past tense. Other than that, this was pleasure to read, kind of reminds me of my old stuff in a sense, with the imagery overload. I love it!
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Thank you!
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