I felt goosebumps prick
like the sound of ice
from ice
the stroke of your fingers was like Farinelli's opera
the spire of the church seemed to pierce the moon
and the wolf's cry was blood
your teeth are the stairway to heaven for each pulp of that orange
the colours of his muffler looked like children
laughing and chasing each other
between swings and see-saws
by the edge of a turquoise lake
the folds of his jeans feel like night and day under bedsheets
the hole in his shoe felt hungrier than the pothole of his stomach
his laughter felt like
an unbuttoned flannel shirt
fluttering against the mountain's gust
her determination was stronger than the wind beneath an airplane
our drive uphill was like the progressive notes of a cello played by a beginner
the light from the candle's flame
hunted down shadows
aiming as if it were a thread
targeting to strike the needle's eye
mother's homemade buns tasted like
the sun that had melted
into the woody fragrance of cinnamon sticks
he ran down the empty road,
like the reverberating wind blown out of a trumpet,
connecting the white dashes into a single line
the petals of the bouquet he gave
fell like the strands on a bad hair day
she cracked her neck as if it were a lever
guaranteed to change the railway tracks
so the train's motion can be resumed undisturbed
the pipelines are a labyrinth
to which the rats have special blueprints
as if they had been in charge of the construction
grandma handpicked the various colours of yarn
as if she were a bird hunting for straws
to weave a firm nest for her offspring
the Christmas tree reminded me of a giggling baby
who had splattered paint on herself
from all the tubes available in the box
she danced like a kite
pulled by music's fingers
he sat on his desk idle
as if Armageddon had come and gone
and he was left alone
not knowing what to do
brother's hair is curlier than Medusa's snakes
and I am so sure that if a battle were to ensue
he would be the victor
even if it meant getting bald
mosquitoes kept on biting my cheek
as if they had a deadline
to submit a report on the number of square millimetres
they had conquered per minute
(as if pimples were not enough)
Author notes
Contest Requirement: For this contest, I don’t want you to write me a poem, I just want you to make a list of original or at least unusual similes.
~~
"Indeed, Farinelli was the most famous singer of the 18th century."
-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Opera#The_Baroque_era
~
my brother's hair is REALLY curly... curlier than mine.. O.o
~
mosquitoes are ANNOYING!!!
~
*zzzzzzzzzzzzz*
A contest entry
- Similes and Comparisons by Danna Hobart.
400 points, ended December 27, 2008, 7 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Critiques welcome!
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Not bad. I just sort of thought with the many similes it was a little choppy. Obviously, that is the main essence of the poem, and that really shouldn't be changed. Maybe there is a happy medium to connect it all together.
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This isn't a poem.
The contest requirement was just to conjure up a list of similes and comparisons because she was probably sick of reading poetry-less poems. That's why I've put the title up in brackets. Okay, that doesn't make it obvious.. lol. I'll add it in the AN.
Thank you though.
I might use some of these to create a poem some day.
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This is beyond marvelous! Thank you for entering.
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ui!
now that was totally unexpected..
and here i was thinking that i could've done better.. i mean, yeah, i guess i could have, since the only ones i really liked were the last four, but oh well, it's time for
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thanks alooot fer z gold!! i are happé! and kevin reminded me that it's my 3rd anniversary on AP..
and i had a gingerbread man today!!!!!!!!! i'd heard the story when i was five, and i finally ate him now, at nearly 20..
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Oh, that bratty little gingerbread man. I hope he tasted good
Happy anniversary
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and thank you!
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oooh, he was yummy....
i ate his head first, then his hands, then one of his leg.. and i gave the tummy and the other leg to my bro..
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