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Fish Out Of Water

I was like your pet guppy,
your little love,
your happy pill,
your eternal amore.

I was the weird kid in school,
the one you gave another look to,
the one you brought home,
like a little sick puppy.

I was the oddity,
the anomaly in your life,
the cause for tears and worry,
the one regret you never had.

And I’m sorry,
sorry, sorry.
I never knew—
how could I?

Did you scream in pain,
did you finally see through me that night?
That the little fish you kept by you,
she grew her fins and swam away.

Not, not, not, not.
Fish out of the water.
I never belonged to you,
not to me, either. 


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A contest entry

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Comments


  • magdelene
    December 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I really like this...I rarely give critiques to poetry because I feel that a poem is a poem and complete when you say it is, but I have to say this: this feels vague, and while most of the poetry I like is really vague, this is almost TOO much so. I have no idea what it's really about...I have lots of pleasant images and one sad stanza, but I'm not exactly clear what you're trying to say. It has no clear message, really.
    But like I said, I really do like this poem, and that's the only reason I'm even offering advise. If I really don't like a poem I just don't comment or say "thanks for entering..." lol. So .... yeah. Good luck!


    • charmander13
      December 28, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Haha. Thank you so much for your comment! I do appreciate it...

      I think... the story this poem was trying to tell is something that is much larger than what appears in these 24 lines- something that is a part of a 20,000-word story I'd written actually. Ok, in short- this poem is from the POV of a girl with a mental illness, and she falls in and out of love with many people easily... but things are fairly warped from her perspective.

      The title 'Fish Out Of Water' depicts her struggle for acceptance despite her feelings of ostracization and differentiation from the rest of society.

      I thank you for giving me the chance to explain myself.

      Anyway, if you're interested in reading about "less vague" poems I've written (but it might still be fairly abstract haha), perhaps you might like to take a look at this other poem- 'Things In Our Heads'?
      http://allpoetry.com/poem/4886245

      Thanks so much again!

      Have a nice day!