Could this be something we call love
This touching between you and me
Cupids arrows have hit enough
to desire your chastity
Give me what I need my sweet love
Lets kiss and set our passion free
No need to wait for a sign of
a tried and true reality.
This love could fit just like a glove
There is ‘nothing more I need to say
Let me give you a gentle shove.
While I pray that you stay.
While I pray that you stay
Let me give you a gentle shove.
There is nothing more I need to say
This could fit just like a glove
A tried and true realty
No need to wait for a sign of
Lets kiss and set our passion free.
Give me what I need my sweet love,
To desire your chastity
Cupids arrows have hit enough
This touching between you and me
Could be something we call love.
In a list
A contest entry
- Verse Poetry - Form or Metered by Corey Harvard.
500 points, ended December 27, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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This is the second time I have read a palindrome, and it is very effectively powerful in beauty echoing back the lines right to the beginning...A magnificent reflection! The other I read was Roaddog Wolf's one months ago..he is my dear ap brother....Love yours too!
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In a few transitions, this was brilliant, and in others it was rough. I like the idea behind "mirrored poetry" but I don't know that I have as much respect for this form as I do something like a sonnet or a villanelle. Then again, this is the first time I've been exposed to it.
In terms of style, I have mixed feelings. The language was smooth and I didn't struggle with ambiguity or hyper-abstraction, but, on the other hand, there wasn't any phrasing or figurative language that took me by surprise. The delivery had a hallmark quality to it.
The form was good. I didn't struggle with flow and I didn't feel conflicted about the rhyme. While I might not be fondest of the form, this was a good introduction to it. Again, there were places like the last stanza where I thought the concept was appealing - it's a good representation of the form and your craftsmanship. A little typo, by the way: Stanza 5, Line 1 "realty".
Thanks for you entry and the introduction to a new form. -
OMG!
this is marvelous! it took me a moment to realize what you were doing as i was so lost in your words! you have alot of talent, keep on writing, Poet!
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