Does he feel it slither
in his night dream dynasty
where he is king
with cracked crown?
Oh, I do not wish him ill:
No, I wish snake to wreath him,
tail to mouth.
and weigh heavily on him.
Such a fine, fine, line
from my devoted awe and angst.
Author notes
prompt: "He's haunted by her loving-hatred"
Reporesentation of the cyclical nature of things, eternal return, and other things perceived as cycles that begin anew as soon as they end.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Ah does it strangle or stand to create the infinite. Are we crowned with the sorrow of bad choices or gladdened to choose again and again a whole new beginning. Curse or blessing? Why not both? For are we not always on the brink of our own wonder and demolished plans. Do we not have to choose and re-choose to continue to the goal or to sit and stew in our own whine and cheese.
Love, Tom B.
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I love this exploration of our duality... as I read it, the speaker's, not the subject's. At first, these lines seem to be about him and his issues, and certainly they are key... but it is the SPEAKERs discovery of self, of motive and understanding that really strike me here. Either way, the depth of thought and picture of the psyche are remarkable. Wonderful poetry!
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An intriguing write here. Not wishing him ill, but to find folly in his own design brought from slumbered thoughts. Not a fib or an act of lesser being be spoken of, until it returns and bites you in the end. Brillaint, keep your pen warm, cause this is good.
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wow. This is excellent.
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Ah, wow!!! I loved your ending and how you've placed your thoughts. Line far apart but not cut, they flow and mix well.
"where he is king
with cracked crown"
He is indeed a king with a cracked crown. Loved this line.
"Such a fine, fine, line
from my devoted awe and angst."
So much pain in this. You've done the prompt justice. Exactly as it meant or maybe this is how I see you did.
Thanks for entering and best of luck.
~Noor
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