Snow drop
Emblazoned with
Scarlet streaks,
Bowed before
Glazed walls
Blurred with tears.
Haunting pleas
Echoed round
The meadows,
"Freedom, untangle me!"
Author notes
Amaranthine Lover
sweet innocence
A contest entry
- wish for 2009 (less then 25 words) by misticmoonlite.
775 points, ended December 26, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Best Prewrites From December 2008 by amaranthine lover.
1605 points, ended January 10, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
plz tell me what do you think??
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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The piece is very beautiful and lyrical. I absolutely love the way that you wove it all nicely together. But somehow...that title really doesn't do the poem any justice...at all. I suggest you change it to something a big more attention grabbing like Snow Drop Streak or something of that nature. The title that you are at now just sounds like a diary entry title and may deter people from reading such a nicely though out piece.
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suggestion:
- Please put your user name and mine Amaranthine Lover in the author's notes so that I know who you are and that you read my rules. -
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thank you very muches!
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Good wish
to live like an animal is not cool, lets wish for freedom for all the world,in who deserve to be free .
thank you for this entry good luck
Voe
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"Freedom, untangle me!"
Ain't that the truth! Well written piece ... I loved the brevity to it, very creative. I wish that I could write like this.
Peace to you friend and I am sure that God will eventually untangle you where you need it most ... He's real good at that!
~ James ~
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