Who did this?
The rest of the boys have fled
left poor Jimmy on the cold pavement alone
Not a hair does shift, not a finger does twitch,
and one cold lip that no longer quivers as the previous false hope
Motionless, the animals scurry and rustle amongst autumn's droppings
and reluctant hands of Crook the Clock continue to p a s s
ever so in-time..yet increasingly seemingly slower and s l o w e r
and still...nobody, lonely isolation
and gradually...his warm liquid oozes
A contest entry
- with the abstract in mind.. by The-Phoenix.
900 points, ended January 10, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - round one (for everyone) prewrite contest ENTER ENTER ENTER (AND YES THAT MEAN'S YOU too by serenity silvermoon.
927 points, ended February 16, 1509 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Is the content hard to grasp...I would like some constructive critiques please!?!?
Comments
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sinister sister... again!
I'm glad that dark-side Immortal technique style made an imprint on your young impressionable mind -lol. I think the ideas gr8 but you obviously need to develop it more...
X
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whoa. a disgusting flavor you have here and abstract indeed. enjoyed this thoroughly. although it does breathe the death of younger bodies.
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