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Kama Sutra Tone

 

 

 

 

 





my bowed body curls arched
like a flower’s stem within a sudden storm

the archer I would be conforms to another rhythm


like snake worshippers flute through serpentine twines
into another dawn’s ambergris folds

am how the moon flows among your blueberry tone

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

'tone' .... not tones ... so don't go there

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Night Hope gold member
    June 19

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    I love how you manipulate words into different meanings than the average reader is used to, Danny. I sometimes do that myself, although not to the same extent or mastery that you utilize, of course. Beautiful. I know, I know, I keep using that word in reference to your work, yet...I do mean it.




  • Mairi bheag gold member
    December 26, 2008

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    "'tone' .... not tones ... so don't go there"

    Your choice of language is always deliberate, so when it is startling (as in a phrase where the grammar jars) the reader is startled at your bidding.

    I always avoid similes if I can, but sometimes they seem apposite and accurate. There is a strong sense of shape... being shaped by will and by things beyond will... throughout the poem; and with shape, emotion. The emotion unsettles and thrills the reader. Well, it does me anyhow.


  • just mercedes gold member
    December 25, 2008
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    beauifully sensuous , intimate and observant at the same time. very engaging.


  • klassy lassy
    December 25, 2008

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    The shades of moonberry on this page are perfect for the tone of your poem. I am going to have to look up 'ambergris'...but I like the way it sounds, percussive, as if dawn had a heartbeat...and of course, it does!

    Filigree.



1 - 6 of 6