“Hey, is there a screw driver in my forehead?”
“Probably.”
“No,
Seriously.”
“Haha um…
no…”
Are you sure?
*
"So what're your grades like?"
"I don't know."
“So where do you want to go to college?”
“I don’t know.”
“What do you want to be?”
“I don’t know.”
“What’s your favorite thing to do?”
“Uh, write
I like to… uh,
Do it.”
Well,
That’s nice, dear.
*
I grab my nose
And pull on it
And move it about.
“Whatcha doin there, Rudolph?”
“I feel like my nose is broken.
Like I just got punched in the face,
And I don’t know why.”
“Yeah, I did that while you were
Sleeping.”
Screw you, pops!
*
I got drunk and
switched out the holiday music
For AC/DC
And led zeppelin.
Don’t deck the halls;
Knock them on their asses!
*
Every time the family had a new distraction
(the dog was being cute, or licking someone
else’s
Balls
Or the kids were getting naked
Or some roast beef caught fire
Or the tree was falling down
I’d take off with some wine
Over and
Over
Till I had a few bottles.
To myself.
Haha.
But it was a good drunk, for sure.
I wrestled about with a dog
And I didn’t even know its name
And I got all scratched up to shit
And bleeding through my T shirt;
And saying the lord’s name
for other reasons
Than might be
expected;
I punched him in the face
And then we hugged for awhile;
And then eating so many crackers
And Mash potatoes and fish
and cheese
And chips
and dip
You’d think I’d start sweating
grease
And cheese
And wine
Oh!
It was so
lovely.
*
And then I passed out at ten,
Too early to watch movies with my daddy
Despite
the excitement
of selecting
Some of the most irreverent
X-mas choices
With lots of blood and cut throats
And screams
And evil curses
to be quite sure.
Perfect for the baby, eh?
(Jesus, that is.)
But apparently not.
*
Yeah, I passed out at ten
And then woke up, like always, assuming to,
But not expecting.
just
Another four A.M after being too drunk too early
The previous day
The previous day….
*
It turns out that the holiday season
Is a time where everything is just as silly
And random
And awful
As everything else
We just happen to think it’s more special
And in the contrast
get burned
Sometimes real bad
And other times we just use it
To make a
turkey
O well.
Author notes
I've written a few christmas poems this year. today is christmas, woo. um, this is based on my christmas eve experiance, i woke up today at four and wrote this. im drinkin water like it's a fucking desert so the hangover doesn't develop. i lucked out by not really having one.
happy christmas everyone.
also, i featured this for ten clicks. not a fuckin one of em commented. i guess,
sorry for the bad cheer, i hope you had fun licking jesus' balls today.
What did you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Wonderful
Very creative and so well done. Thank you for sharing.
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haha i love this.
its very,
you.
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Dark humor indeed, but somehow everything rang true -- for me, it was that my dad always asking about my weight! Guaranteed to make me eat and drink much more than I should -- hangovers from overeating aren't fun, either. Your writing, as usual, really reaches out to our minds and hearts!
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i say fuck jesus. i will take a blunt and a bad attitude. all the way through the fuckin cold . to everywhere i gotta go . and that is just what i did. ... merry xmas . punk . ...
oh . the piece . it was a great one . i ramble now too . you inspired me . curls are loved like vajayjays around here ..
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LOL. I enjoy a bit more relaxing holiday. I try to get into the religious side a bit. Nonetheless, I can appreciate the black humor in your story and enjoyed the poem alot.
Great job.
Mike
P.S. I am also irritated bye non-commenting clickers.
. Rewarded 3
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thanks mate :]
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Merry Christmas
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lol lucky lucky you...
talk to you later,
Gwen
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