Dirty laundry on the floor,
My hair is such a mess,
Doing what I know I should,
Doesn't give me rest.
Broken dishes in the sink,
My nails look really bad,
Smoking, drinking, cursing too,
Best time i ever had.
Comments
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very realistic, about everyday life, simple and nice, about careless artists life, where background sickens?
there is a saying, that intellectual doesnt see dust... -
feels good to let yourdself go from time to time hey. Nice one!!
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I'm not used to giving constructive criticism. That said, if I were to revise this poem, it would just be to change line 3. It doesn't seem to fit with the theme of this poem. If I've misinterpreted the meaning of the line, plz let me know.
You're a gifted writer, and we all post things before we think they are ready from time to time. Good thing there's no law against making changes when we see fit!
~Monica
♥♥♥
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