men frozen with awe
catching flakes upon their heads
awaiting the thaw
Author notes
Traditional Western Haiku (5-7-5)
Snowmen always seem to me to be spellbound with falling snow as if they welcome it because when it snows they will continue to exsist.
A contest entry
- HAIKU by Malabu.
800 points, ended February 2, 44 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Honest Critique Requested
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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if you were me?
and you did not read the authors note
would you have thought...
snowman?
might help
http://www.haikuworld.org/begin/mdwelch.apr2003.html
thank you for your entry -
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Probably not until the last line, but I always thought part of the haiku was to have the 'aha' moment .. though this one probably doesn't stick to the rules totally.
Good link there, I've spent some great reading time there over time.
I would say this one is more in the keeping of proper haiku;
http://allpoetry.com/poem/4956937
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dont sweat it ...you have written some great haiku regardless
of this -
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Thank you ... when I first started writing them I thought they were easy ... lmao .. how wrong can someone be.
Good luck with the judging.
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I love your thoughts here and your author's notes are so true. Wonderful job with this one and good luck!
Jeremy0826
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