snowy egret hides
I can only see your eyes
blink slow in the tree
A contest entry
- Haiku by Kathraina.
900 points, ended January 5, 42 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - HAIKU by Malabu.
800 points, ended February 2, 44 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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two eyes
blink slow in a tree
snowy egret
i had trouble with the first line especailly with hides
this ku would make a better modern style ku
thank you for your entry -
the imagery is brilliant
I'll blink for you
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Wow
Love this one.
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brilliant.
♥ Kathraina -
!
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a suggestion, possibly?
a snowy egret hides
only eyes
blink from the tree
i think that eliminating the 'you' from the haiku focuses the attention on the action in the tree.
otherwise, i think this is strong.
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Thanks so much for your input redbird! I appreciate you commenting here. I will surely consider the change if I go to publish this. Thanks again. Great advice.
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you're welcome
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Wonderful work with this Haiku
and an enjoyable read! All the best
to you with this one and thanks for
sharing it here!
Jeremy0826 -
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Thanks again Jeremy!
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This is a fine 'ku. I'm usually sold on anything involving birds. Love the play on words in the title. Best of luck to you.
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TY!
Thanks Anessen!
I almost named it No Regrets! I appreciate you taking your time to comment.
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