I'm wounded right now and in a great deal of pain.
I think of doing crazy things am i still sane.
The reason this came, i dropped my guard.
To hang on, that is truly hard.
I feel like falling with no stop.
I am like a spilled jar with no top.
Lost all my contents,
now i am spent.
It feels like I'm fading slowly with no hope.
My feelings so strong it's so difficult to cope.
I'm gone with nothing left in my heart and mind.
I'm a nothing that has no one left to find.
Why did it have to be her i lost.
Why couldnt god take my life for an exchange of cost.
She ment everything, she was intwined with my mind, heart, and soul.
In my life she played the strongest role.
She was my greatest friend,
But i guess everybody has to meet an end.
It's over, there is no one left but me, myself, and I.
Now all there is left to do is fade and die.
Give me your worse criticism, dont worry i can take it.
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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Profound...
"Emotionally Wounded" is deep in emotion and reality. Its subjects dealt and poetic expression do impress and take one into ontological and spiritual meditation.
I know that You can revise it and polish this jewel.
This poem would get better without the line fourteen.
Line fifteen is too prosaic. You could eliminate the first three words. That will make the line better in meaning and sound.
In admiration,
Andre Emmanuel Bendavi ben-YEHU
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I like the flow in this one.Again a great piece from you.
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Deep
The words are really deep, and your poem really moved me. Loved reading it. -
beautifully dark
a wonderful write, i can almost imagine the teardrops on the paper. simply beautiful.
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Wow. This is so saddening, and a very relational write. Something I can fit right in to my life. Stunning job.
gypsy -
im not gonna give you a bad report cause i love it =33
message me back?
-Blue -
This is a very nice One
Although I've not been in such sitiuation , but just reading this made me feel as if I really lost someone
it's amazing how you described such a touching and sad feelings using very simple words
great poem
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Your poems are so wonderfully saddening. I find it funny how simple words can take what they describe and cause someone to feel so many things. And, well, these words did that perfectly for me. Well done.
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oh my
you're so full of emotion.
its like i know exactly how you feel.
though i've been in this situation too.
maybe thats why...
but still great poem -
You are a really good writer. This poem is so filled with emotion. I feel that some lines are extended or written just so that a rime will exist, but I don't really care because of the strong message in this text.
Ceep on the good work! -
that is amazing! I cant believe how good your stuff is! I love it! but i was wondering the whole time... is it about something that you went through? how did you get the theme of the poem and how did you get the story? if you want you can pm me but if you dont wana talk its ok too.
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wow... this is... it left me speachless. You did a wonderful job saying wha tyou thought. Keep up your great wrok!@
CrimsonViper -
This is an awsome poem. You can really feel the emotion in it. I have never lost any good friends and i cant even imagine how much it hurts. Good write
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Hmm you ask for criticism, constuctivly ill just say the rhyming is patchy in some places, for instance the lines seem hard to follow because it just seems like you wrote the line to be able to make it rhyme which disrupts the flow a little. Emotional wise you have a lot packed in and expressed well. Its a good write, but all there is left is to fade and die i dont believe this, there is a lot left in life, even when things are taken away, your life is what you make it.
Anyhow, nice write.
Laura. -
Nice Poem
alot of emotion roaring through it.
But from expieriance
don't try to end your life.
All it will lead to is Hell and back
I've been through it so many times
that I am scarred for life.
Your friend would want you to live on
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First, please don't die. I'd miss your poetry.
Second, I think if you used question marks where there were questions it'd add a sense of reality to the piece and add even more intensity. With periods it seems a little, lethargic.
Third, this piece was so exquisitely passionate and intense that it just sucked me right in...and your flow was very very good.
I'm sorry you're suffering, I know it's hard. But just...keep writing...there are people here who can relate.
†Lea
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I love this. It's a brilliant piece, but I'm sorry you feel like this. It's a shame you needed such negative inspiration, but this is a wonderful poem.
One things, though (please don't be offended, you asked!) Line 15, "meant" instead of "ment".
This is a great poem, a really great piece. It flows well, it's very descriptive and is brilliantly emotive. This is a great piece!
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wow.....
i feel your pain in the description, and i know how you feel. you can always look to me sweetheart. keep writing, its always better in some ways.
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Agreed with below. you have a lot of pple stopping you from just dying before you can.
this was such a sad and emotional write. Well done poet. It would be a shame to let this talent die.
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this was beautiful i loved it
i understand it completely
and you will not just fade and die! i'm not letting you!
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