We swore an oath:
Forever. As you lay in my arms and
love surrounded us, sewing our
hearts together like our hands
were intertwined…
it was easy to believe.
Rapture. I swam through my
days knowing that life was unpredictable
but never doubting you were there…
it was easy to believe.
Contentment. As the days passed,
I lost where you began and I ended
and I didn’t care. There was only “we”…
it was easy to believe.
Shattered. You lie there, uncaring
in your beauty, unfeeling in your
heart. No matter the tears I cry
nor the pleas that fall from my
cracked lips, you leave, taking
my heart with you.
I no longer believe.
A rose upon your breast,
the ring I never gave you,
the vows we never spoke…
memories of what will not be
that will go with you
as you are lowered into the cold earth…
We no longer exist…
I no longer exist.
Author notes
Prompt: (Conversation of a selfish love)
She: “Which is more true to you: Not wanting to lose me so you don't lose yourself or not wanting to lose yourself so you don't lose me?"
He: “I don’t want to lose you so I don’t lose myself”
She (thinking): "You don't love me then"
Picture Credit: http://joejoesmoe.deviantart.com/art/Love-8024279
No limit
A contest entry
- Quickie! 7 poets by Hikari Lady.
550 points, ended December 24, 2008, 6 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Critical Comments Always Welcome
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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Wow!
of that Gold! What an unexpected delight to read. I don't ever remember reading anything like this from you before. Great story poem with a wonderful flow, content, & word choice! This was very visual & heartfelt with a dramatic ending! Bravo Ken!
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Thank you Ms. Kathleen
I'm just full of surprises, I guess 
Ken
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hugs
hope we can talk soon -
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Me too... I'm free all day tomorrow
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Thanks for entering my contest.
I loved this poem so much and it actually brought me to alot of tears, and gave me so many emotions.
You've stated so many of the things that the two people in my convo had between them:
"love surrounded us, sewing our
hearts together like our hands
were intertwined…
it was easy to believe." and
"I swam through my
days knowing that life was unpredictable
but never doubting you were there…
it was easy to believe." and
"unfeeling in your
heart. No matter the tears I cry
nor the pleas that fall from my
cracked lips, you leave, taking
my heart with you.
I no longer believe."
Though the last stanza wasn't something they relate to but it was so powerful that it made me cry even more.
I love the repeatation of "It was easy to believe" you've captured the truth with that line and made the picture seem more vivid because you at the end reversed the sentance "I no longer believe".
I really liked how you wrote this with so many thoughts and emotions. You've made it a real sad story and penned the reality of my prompt perfectly complete as if you were with them.
Thanks for entering again and best of luck.
Love&Peace
Merry christmas
~Noor -
wow this is one very powerful poem that you've written. I really love your take on the prompt. what a sad thing to go through.. I'm sure there are people who've been there before. the imagery throughout this piece is vivid and deep.
the last 2 lines are like wow. hits one hard. I also like the repeating of the line "it was easy to believe." and then how it was "I no longer believe"
Fantastic take on the prompt.
good luck
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nicley doone,, I really enjoyed te layout and form with the repeated
it was easy to believe. lines,,, very touching, to this simple heart,,, thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest
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wow, really powerful, especially the ending
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Wow!!!
A brilliant write on a very difficult topic. Good luck in the contest!
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Wow, what a challenge this contest seems to be, you did it justice
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My gosh, this is very powerful. It this true??
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No dear... not yet.
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noe line?? Interesting. makes me want to know why.. do tell me. good luck.
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It's just a reserve dear... not to worry
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