"I don't want to hurt you but I don't know what else to do"
&this is the moment when everything changed, when the past become the future and the future became yesterdays.
this is the moment when i started dilipadating, the moment when everything started cr-cr-crashing down
[baby this is the moment when i realized there was something missing between us;a chain link missing in our fence-a puzzle piece that just didn't quite fit]
i'm not quite sure how to say this, so i suppose ill start at the end, i'm packing my bags and leaving.
.but.god.do.i.love.you.more.than.i.could.ever.idmagine.loving.myself.or.anyone.else.
the truth is though, i'm dead on the inside, a lifeless ragdoll and it's not fair to you,
i'm done wasting your life, wasting your precious kisses on somebody whose stabbing silver stars in your back.
maybe one day i'll be able to come home, jump on a pixilated train and run into your warm embrace,
i suppose one day i'll deserve you, i already regret this [tattooing fuck up on my hand because it's all i'll ever amount too]
i have to get away from this, away from you, away from him, away from everybody that ever meant anything to me.
i'm not that strong, independent girl i pretend to be. i'm weak and pathetic, i'm nothing really.
wanna know the truth? i know you do, i'm insecure beyond belief, i never deserved someone as amazing you.
i deserve to be |used| and [abused]
hung up by my toes on a ratty old rope, begging and screaming for my mercy as the knife scrapes by my throat.
thats what i deserve love, not someone like you, someone who treats me like a princess.
i could never deserve you.
if i could turn back the hands of time and fix this i would, but i cant and it's too late to fix all the mistakes i've already made. i can't save you and you can't save a wretch like me, i'm too fucked up for anyone to care about. i find it hard to care about me, why would you want me? why should you care? i can never go home again. never go home again. go home again. home again. again. you're too far away from me to touch, i cant smell your sweet skin, your breath isnt passing by my skin, your lips arent --gracing-- mine. and this is it, the .end. f o r e v e r m o r e baby i never meant for it to end like this. please,please,p l e a s e forgive me. [im as sorry as i'll ever be]
Author notes
option five bright lights
A contest entry
- I'm new to AP!!! This is my 1st contest!!! by roninwort.
3000 points, ended January 7, 43 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I want a sad poem by Do I look good.
530 points, ended December 29, 2008, 72 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - & sometimes the prettiness never dies♥ by xxRainbowDawnxx.
400 points, ended December 30, 2008, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me your break-up poems by trekkergirl.
400 points, ended January 5, 80 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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You should be proud of yourself for letting all of that out.To begin with you are worth it and you do deserve this person.Give yourself some credit,you have alot of love and care in you as well as deep pain and heartache.To show your emotions as you have is to be commemded.
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AWESOME!!!
wow ur poem is realy cool -
I liked it alot
very nice!
it wasn't 2 bad.
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okaythis one wasn't bad however what is this with the word.word.word. thing? This is correct in any grammar lessons that I know about. And if it is a form then I would suggest you explain it. Thanks for sharing this and thanks for entering this into my contest.
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I know how you feel, I think too much of what I have done in the past & how I always seem to repeat mistakes, it's almost like a replay of a horror film, over & over, on & on. This is real to me.
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Whoa. Wow. Geez. That is...one hell of a write. I can completely relate to this in wretched ways. Wow.
Thank you for entering and best of luck.
Write on.
~*~SP~*~ -
This piece had a very strong emotional tone that was incredible. I love the ideas that you are putting out there! I do feel that the formatting of this made it a little bit distracting to the reader, maybe if you broke it up into stanzas and a little bit shorter of lines, then maybe it would read a little bit easier and more clearly. I really liked that the title you chose was so simple, it's a nice introduction to the poem, and not too complex. I also loved your use of the word 'pixilated', and felt as if that line of the piece was by far the strongest as far as imagery goes! Great job with this, I really enjoyed reading it!
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Ah, a most passionate and despairing lover's lament of a love gone south, a twice told tale only too well known...neat stuff!
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Strong emotions displayed here. You have expressed those feelings very well. I look forward to reading more of your work!
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aw bby, this is amazing. The beginning is absolutely brilliant and so is everything else. I can really feel the emotions in this and reading it makes me feel like crying. The line "i can never go home again" really hit me hard. god bby, I know how this feels and it hurts to read about it.
I wish I could turn back the hands of time too. I want to start over, go back to being a happy little kid, and not fuck up my life this time.
Bby, you do deserve the best, even if you don't think so. && you're stronger than you think you are. Things will get better and we'll be okies. You can make it through anything bby. I know you can. You're not too fucked up for anyone to care about. I care about you bby.
ilysfm
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Wow. This is very powerful and moving. You have me in tears, cause this cant help but make me think that this might have been what was going through my ex's head after she broke up with me...
An amazing poem you have here. Thank you very much for your entry and good luck.
Ronin -
wow!! this is good what song was it based off of? I really like the fact that you want to hold on to what seems to be something good.. but at the same time you just need to let go and you ask for forgivness as you are walking away.. Amazing and keep on writing =] -
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bright ;lightss matchbox 20
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Cole,
you do deserve to be happy, and dont let this make you think differently babe. Its hard, yea, its really hard, i know that, but really its the best thing for both of you if it spares pain that neither of you need to experience. I am so so so proud of you for writing this. Really, you really do take what you're experiencing and feeling and you just put it to words in the most amazing way. because thats real talent, and you are a star, shining brighter than times square, you just gotta realize that first babe!!! illlly and your words. Can i have some of your talent, pleassssssssssse?
♥
Soph
P.s. I soooooo see a winnnner :]
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