Kicking, braying,
Working, paying,
Wrinkling, greying—
Thanks for playing.
Author notes
Written February 10th, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- SMS (Short Messages) by Menohir.
300 points, ended September 23, 2004, 15 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Cool, this is what I was looking for.
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Wow this is very creative. Life is a game? Wonderful - you say it all in so few words. An excellent piece. (And best of luck!)
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oooh i do like that. summing up life, yeah? awesome idea and groovy imagery. makes you think and nicely written all round! hehe thanks for the entry
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Aw marvellous. Like a line from the Subterranean Homesick Blues but more concise. So right that it's hard to believe it hasn't existed before. Loved.
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wow....speechless and so envious about how well this worked!!! the rhyming was perfect and the last line was so good! u make writing short poems look easy
great job on this, ill applaud it because i liked it so much! keep writing
xashtrayxgirlx -
If profundity comes in a capsule, I think you just had sniff, it seemed a lot longer while waiting… but around about now seemed that brief!
Tater prints the answer to Zen…
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Just about sums it up!
David -
very good
Hmmmmm. You make it look too easy.
I don't know anything about the wrinkling and greying
This, like a lot of your poetry, I scratch my head and say why didn't I think a that? Because I'm not Nando.
Desiree
Edited on Feb 10, 8:07 p.m. because ''. -
Good grief...sometimes I really just want to smack you right upside the head. Maybe if I did some of your creativity would bounce out and jump to me. This is truly great!
~I've got a bad case of screw-this-place-itis~
M -
Bit of a depressing summing up here, but unfortunately quite accurate for a lot of the population.
I like it.
Good Luck
Kyla
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