I can see it on your face
As you walk through the door
I can see that you're in pain
With your heart splayed out on the floor
I can see that your screaming
Without making a sound
I can see that your wishing
That someone was around
I can see that you need me
More than ever now
And I can see that you're fighting
But you don't know how
I can see that you're wishing
That someone was there
I can see it as you cry
And as you pull your hair
I can see that it's not over
That it's yet to have begun
I can see that you're not forgotten
You're not the only one
I can see it in the way
You cry every night
I can see it in the way
You scream out in fright
I can see that you need me
Want someone to see
What's hurting you on the inside,
What's making you bleed
And I hope that you can see
That I would do anything
To help you out, To help you through
I would simply do anything,
If it meant I could save you.
Author notes
"And your silence sounds like deafening screams to me."
~Frozen, Delain~
A contest entry
- To Write Love On Her Arms by ShadedRequiem.
400 points, ended January 9, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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This is brilliant. I love your take on the prompt, it's excellent. Kudos to the contest-holder, ShadedRequiem, for coming up with such a brilliant one. More kudos to you for interpreting it the way that you did.
I agree with emif182, it's a very selfless write. I particularly love your last stanza, I think that it's superb.
One thing, stanza two, all of the "your"s in that stanza should be "you are" or "you're". I'm sorry, I know that I'm being terribly pedantic, I just hate it when I do things like that, and nobody points them out!
This is a great write. I love the message and the tone. -
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thank you =]
yeah...i should change that sometime lol
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I absolutely love this poem. It's very beautiful and powerful, whoever it's written to is very lucky they have you to notice these things about them because I know I would really love for someone to say all those things to me.
Very nearly made me cry with how much I actually wish someone would say it to me.
But yeh, wow, this is brilliant!
x x x
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strong
i like the fact that you are reaching out to what sounds like a bi-ploar personality. it shows that you are kind beyond the stigma. i may have missed the point but this is my interpretation.
you are a strong writer. many golds to you.
by the way i like your cover page with the "hister" reference. monty python called him "hilter" to disquise his identity. i, too, play music. the guitar, banjo, dulcimer, tin whistle, and the pipes.
well done,
kevin o'connor/ui'connabhair -
Wow!
I LOVE THIS!
My favorite lines are;
I can see it in the way
You cry every night
I can see it in the way
You scream out in fright
I can see that you need me
Want someone to see
What's hurting you on the inside,
What's making you bleed
sooooo sad....
but still amazing!!!
-erin -
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thank you =]
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This is a very nice poem, but a little to repetitive for my tastes. It's very hopeful though.
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I enjoy a poem that is about somebody else for a change, and not in an "I'm in love with you" way. Very selfless and nice to read!
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WOW that is great writing, hope you win the contest.
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thank you so much =]
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Wow this is amazing. I just love this poem so much, you did an awesome job writing this. Keep on writing.
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