maybe if you fuck him...

maybe if you fuck him, he'll love you.

you said this to me, typed it in black and white, and it stung. because i've thought about it. i'm too gullible for anyone to love though, because it's too easy. there's no point.

so i told you what i wanted to beleive. that i don't need love, that i'm strong enough to live for years all by myself. and then i said the truth. that i just want someone to hold my hand and make me feel like i exist. i need someone to acknowledge the fact that i'm still alive and breathing, that it's still worth making the effort.

what i didn't say was that no one makes me feel like i exist like you do. you make me exist by thinking about me, by loving me.
because you love me, i'm still here.

things are different though, and i never lied when i said i loved you. i still love you. but i'm hoping its just like in all the stories, where everyone has more than one soul mate.
but i have a feeling its not like that, because stories don't come true, and they don't always have a happy ending.

our story certainly didn't.