I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I didn't visit you as much as I said I would,
That I didn't call often or
Write you.
We talked sometimes,
About nothing and everything all at once.
Random, small talk.
"I like Nancy Drew. It's a good series."
"I used to love Nancy Drew when I was little."
"Really?"
"Yeah, I owned every book. Every single one of them."
"Wow!"
"I got rid of them, but I loved them."
"Maybe you can borrow mine."
I never lent them to you.
I hate winter.
Everything in it is cold and dark.
It brings me nothing but pain and heartache.
It's supposed to be a cheery time, best time of the year.
It never is.
You're not the first tragedy,
I wanted to die.
Wanted to love, but knew I couldn't,
So I tried to kill myself.
My dog died.
Then the snowman I made melted into a dog.
I couldn't stop crying.
My uncle died,
On my friend's birthday.
I grew up with him, telling me,
"Oh, hello, hello! How do you do?"
Every time we walked through the door.
I fought, with my family.
They called the cops on me and I tried to kill myself again.
I hate winter.
The paralyzing silence,
The frozen world.
We will all freeze.
Everything dies...
Everything.
So here it is,
Four days before Christmas and
You left me.
You're not coming back.
I loved you, but I never really showed it.
I do that with everyone that I care about,
Then I regret it.
I don't know why I am this way,
I don't know why I am what I am.
You're one more reason
One more dark memory
Of a world so dead and cold.
I'm sorry.
Author notes
This is dedicated to my aunt, who just passed away. I wish I was closer to her, although we were closer than most of my family and I. May she rest in peace and may God grant her no more suffering.
A contest entry
- Why by charmander13.
700 points, ended December 24, 2008, 24 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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Such brilliant power contained within each line, the offering of sorrow and yet i see such light dancing between the phrases...perhaps its the ending plea of "I'm sorry" and the remorse. I am so sorry for your loss. She had to have been an amazing influence in your life, it shows (i think) in this poem. Congratulations on your Gold Trophy, it is a well deserved win - a memorable poem.
blessings and best wishes,
-
Oh Shass. I'm so sorry. I could say that I know how you feel, but I know that really doesn't help. Twill be ok. *hugs*
You did a really phenomenal job with this poem. It's really strong and beautiful in a melancholy way.
my phone's always on if you need me. Call me. I love you girlie. -
I am so sorry for your loss- I hope by penning this, you'll feel slightly better... but don't rush it, let the pain come over you, let it all run its course... and you'll be okay in the end.
This poem truly touched me.
Thank you for such a magnificent write- I'm placing you on the finalists' list.
All the best to you
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