I
in a song's refrain twentyfold
a sole voice
an eye upon the world
II
skies limned in clouds
down to the treeline
a chorus beheld
III
of dancing leaves a-whirl
the blackbird came in a carnival train
IV
of adam and eve
who spoke in whispers
though eve was tempted
the blackbird spread her wings
V
so who is truth
this father of lies
who spake with honeyed voice
of beauty invoked
this blackbird of voice
VI
of icy breathed
and the reaper's touch
a shadow's peak above the sun
where the blackbird dwells
VII
of Shadrack, Meshack and Abednego
and the flames of Nebuchadnezzar
such is the folly of belief
and the candour of spite
VIII
a canticle rose
of such nobility and grace
whose thorns doth prick
the blackbird's discerning eye
such is the nature of nurturing
IX
thus spake the blackbird
secundus
that none may equal or surpass
a river styx
and a blackbird reprised
afterall...
A contest entry
- Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird by film.
700 points, ended January 11, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Best All-Around Prewrites From 2008 by amaranthine lover.
1400 points, ended January 9, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - very tough contest :P (don't just sit and enjoy your holidays without poetry ) by abuyi.
1400 points, ended February 22, 44 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your best freeverse. by jayyniecakes..
400 points, ended March 19, 63 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - .:. Take My Breath Away .:. by DecorusApparatus.
1400 points, ended April 14, 42 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your oldest prewrite poems and my 20th contest by stargazer..
650 points, ended April 20, 417 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - EVERYTHING/ANYTHING-PW allowed! by Heva Feva.
400 points, ended June 8, 172 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PRWRITE CONTEST FOR ALL by serenity silvermoon.
900 points, ended August 2, 1026 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your Best Poems (Great Points) by Tqop.
1000 points, ended July 23, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - prewrites preferred: come see. by jessica rabbit..
875 points, ended July 28, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything goes by lovlilmystery.
700 points, ended November 9, 71 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
In the
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
-
This is a really good piece. Loved the way it flowed.. like the singing of a song. Good luck in the contest. Take care and have a great day.
Sandi -
Thanks so much for entering, and best of luck in my contest!
-
Thanks so much for your entry.
-
wow
Good luck and thanks for entering my contest.
-heva -
Gorgeous vocabulary.
Very rich poem.
Thank you for entering tis into my contest.
-
I liked it, just not a winner
-
i am kinda lost in your write cause i don't know most of the characters and places you mentioned here.
for constructive criticism i suggest the use of word spoke over spake is smoother.. your not using old english
your background takes more attention than your write.. it gives a nice look but distracts me from reading
i like the imagery its dark.
thanks for entering and best of luck -
Love the imagery and diction choices here, keep writing!
-
The line 'the blackbird came in a carnival train'... I don't know why, but it's probably one of my favorite lines from any poem on AP. And the whole thing really was very good.
-
This is deep and the lines lead back through inferences. I have no real constructive criticism other to say, most of these are sharp iamge-makes, but a couple were more tellign than showing? Just felt like I needed to give one lil cosntructive thought. Well done, poet, bravo!
Adding your comment:
1 - 10 of 10
