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REJeCTION.AnD.PErFECTIOn.AND.hESITATiON

The weekend’s over
But my argument’s not
And I don’t see why this relationship
has to be
just because
You’re afraid to call
So you text
And I’m out of texts
So I’m ready to call
But that doesn’t mean I will
Because
I fear perfection
You fear rejection
And we’re both sick
Of hesitation
In our feelings
And voices
And messages
That we send with emotions
That can’t be received
Because that could get expensive
And our phone companies could
make it complex
so I would love it if you would
Please
Ask
Me
To call because maybe then I would
Because I would have a reason
To hear your voice
and smile
through the confused frustration
of the phone companies
but they wouldn’t matter
because for a moment
it would just be
you
and me
in the world
full of fears of
perfection
and rejection
and hesitation
and whatever kind of
extravagant pain that could
beat us to death
if we experienced all three
but we would know better
because we would have each other
to get through
all the dark
and hate
and pain
and then all of
those twisted painful past
experiences would be worth it
because I would
have you
and you would
have me.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 16 of 16
  • jampex
    November 24
    ?
    Edit | Reply

    its thanksgiving break

    and i have nothing to do

    so slowly in going to read all of these
    and learn how you really felt
    and whats its like to see you caring about someone...


    i already feel terible

    i took so much from you
    and for what?
    for nothing...

    i dont know what to do
    run all the way to ohio and say im sorry
    or sit here and cry alone as i often do

    time to go get my running shoes cus my tears seem to do no good

  • I really do enjoy this. Even though it was quit long, i still loved it. best of luck!


  • Symphony
    February 17

    Edit | Reply
    This felt more like a journal entry than a poem; like something you wanted to, and needed to, get off your chest and penned down on paper -

    It was well done in that respect, as I feel like perhaps a small weight would have lifted from you to have it taken away, but aside from that, it didn't entertain me nor capture my attention -

    I feel as though it was repetitive, went around in circles, and agian, was more thoughts than poem; do you keep an online journal? it can be very beneficial.

    Thank you for entering though


  • aanika
    February 6
    Edit | Reply
    no.

    thanks for entering.


  • heavenbird
    February 4
    Edit | Reply

    no.


    Please wait for the other judges comment.

  • heavenbird
    January 29

    Edit | Reply
    This is my personal comment for the catharsis rounds.
    Upon the closing of the contest, I will comment back with a 'yes' or 'no.'

    That being said,
    I wasn't feeling this.
    Your title and background instantly threw me off, and your awkward line breaks and cliche topic didn't really convey the emotion it should've.
    It did convey some emotion, though.
    I liked the ending.
    I'll be back.


  • Luciferschild
    January 26

    Edit | Reply
    nice stream of thought, i thought is was creative but needed a bit of work thank you for entering and good luck


  • Chocolate Chip
    January 26
    Edit | Reply
    wow. just...wow. =D


  • Erozay
    January 26
    Edit | Reply
    oh i like this one its good ^_^


  • Ms Raneika
    January 23

    Edit | Reply
    Nice write, i can relate to this personally. thanks for entering my contest!

    Love, Raneika

  • AMAZING!!!!!!!TYTYTY

  • Topnotchsy
    January 18

    Edit | Reply
    Nice write. The world has definitely moved toward communication that is less and less personal, and a real personal relationship is something we all crave.


  • Rya
    January 12

    Edit | Reply
    I really like it...i hate when you are with a phone company that monitors your minutes and your texts...it sucks...it flowed really nicely as well...i could see the emotion in it as well...good job


  • rinzurajan
    January 12

    Edit | Reply
    honest simple and lovely...

    and i don't promote text messages either...

    i wish u get that much awaited call someday...




  • Miss Faerie Greeters member
    December 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Welcome to Allpoetry

    I detest sms. Because it never delivers what you wanted to say they way that you intended it. Then it is taken the wrong way and causes more trouble then was there initially.

    Your piece is straightforward, honest and sad.
    I hope that it works out.

    Welcome to Allpoetry
    I hope that you enjoy the site, and if you have any questions please don't hesitate to ask


  • Mr Id
    December 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Nice that through all this telephonically induced angst there is a happy ending.

    Cool stuff!

1 - 16 of 16