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Winter Smoke Break

Its that time again
Yes winter but...
Also a smoke break
The sliding glass door
Squeaks as the cold air
Rushes in
Blowing the napkins
Off of the table
I sit on the balcony

Frigid
My fingers like
The bare tree twigs
Frozen from the winter
Air
Chilled and puffing
I'm wondering...
Is now a good time
To quit?

Author notes

Just came in from a cig break and freezing my butt off I write...

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Gypsy Via Orleans
    March 2

    Edit | Reply
    This too I can relate too. Being a smoker, many is the time I've frozen my butt off for just one puff that I had to get in between the actual break. This is good. I'm really liking your poetry.


  • Wind Walker
    December 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Hallerious but true

    I so love this piece = and it is so true
    as a smoker - all to often I have been forced into this situation - Quit ? -not today
    I think it is Very Good
    Good Luck in the contest
    W W


  • morgana raven Greeters member
    December 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This i like just the way it is, really a fantastic piece here, i also like the colour you wrote it in, enphasised the fast you were cold. Another great piece, thank you for directing me to your poetry =)
    Laura.


    • couldbeworse
      December 23, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Glad you enjoyed it...and yes..still thinking of quitting teehee


  • Pisces rainbow gold member
    December 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Fingers like the bare tree twigs
    I know how that feels
    well done
    keep warm
    God bless you my friend...

  • Yemassee gold member
    December 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Yes, if I smoked, the cold weather would make me quit. I often see people ouside stores, offices, schools smoking outside, all huddled in ther jackets and feel bad for them, I know it is their choice but I still feel bad.

    You took a specific incident to make the poem's meaning hit home, and that worked for me. I like your ending line, that was a touch of genial humor which was nice. Thanks for entering the contest, and if you can't quit smoking...make the breaks as quick as you can.


    • couldbeworse
      December 23, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      thanks for the comment. glad you enjoyed it...still thinking of quitting lol.

1 - 8 of 8