Once, I sat amongst the stars
in leagues of loved ones vanished.
Then came the day it turned around
for sins, my soul was banished.
I questioned why, and where and how
I questioned His true face.
My answers they remain concealed,
this Angel falls from Grace.
So now I sit amongst the waste
bespelled by skylines soaring.
No gentle harps to lull the soul
just sounds of streetcars roaring.
Sent back to Earth to learn anew
and mend my broken faith.
Doomed to walk with mortal men
as haunted as a wraith.
Three years, four months and twenty days
I stood here on this plane.
So sure with every second passed
that heaven calls my name.
Until the morn my soul did slip
When to me came temptation.
As I gave in to mortal lusts
an end to my salvation.
So now I stand amongst the crowds
with thoughts I can’t ignore.
Tangled in this human knot
with nought to pray or die for.
Author notes
The prompt put me in mind of a fallen angel, striving to return to Heaven. He makes a mistake and finds himself with nothing to die for, now he is unable to return to Heaven.
A contest entry
- The Mystery Title Contest (No.2) by Glasyalabolas.
1400 points, ended January 20, 2009, 14 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Rhymers return - Round 3 Sad or Dark by cricketjeff.
4000 points, ended January 30, 59 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
Thank you for your entry in the contest. A lovely poem with simple rhyme and flow.
All the best to you in the contest.
Sue and Jeff
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I always have a soft spot for tales of the fallen and the different ways they can be portrayed and this is a very good tale, made even more so as you took on the task in a more difficult fashion by doing it in a rhyming scheme rather than freewrite.
The rhyming works perfectly, adding to the piece rather than taking away from it, which can so often happen with rhyme as it can often be hard to tell a tale and make it natural and not forced.
Excellent job.
Good write and congrats on silver.
-
Cool, love it...
Outstanding!!!
Powerful narrative with a flawless rhyme scheme & a flowing rhythm that captivates the reader throughout...
Yet another fantastic piece...
Keep up the good work & good luck in your contest...
Well done!!!
-
No probs.
Title Prompt No.4 is:
'The Fresh Taste Of Having Nothing To Die For'
Many, many thanks.
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