The already fine line
between comedy and tragedy
is disintegrating
And as desperately as I try to save it
I can only destroy it faster
I'm losing hold
of everything
Complications becoming
so much more frequent
and then
Secondary colors
are added to the primaries
'til I'm color-blind all together
What was so wrong
with simplicity?
Author notes
I'm ladyhelenaofsorrows
A contest entry
- Best Prewrites. by Simone Brooklyn.
700 points, ended January 18, 65 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Show me something. by morgana raven.
900 points, ended December 30, 2008, 80 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Emotional Wreck by ToxicSuicide.
750 points, ended January 11, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Thank you for entering my contests! And good luck!
~ToxicSuicide. -
I agree with my co judge *points to film noir* great write.
thanks for entering.
Laura -
This is my favorite bit:
The already fine line
between comedy and tragedy
is disintigrating
I think you meant 'disintegrating'.
I wonder what was going through your mind when you wrote this.
I liked the whole colored theme in the last stanza.
I most certainly felt something when reading this.
Best of luck in the Contest!
- Aly -
Fantastic. You told me you aren't much of a poet, but I think you're mistaking poetry with something else. The couple of writes I've read of yours are short and simple, but you're still coherant in your message and they've been something I can relate to and empathise with. If you can make the reader think or feel something, then you've done well. Things were easier to understand when I was a kid, when things were simple. This makes me question the effects of age, as if my logic and reason has been so distorted by the abundance of trial through time.
I'm not sure what kind of criticism I can give you. It's good. I like how you talked about seperate colors interfering with your stability and basically destroying the depiction of life. The only thing I think would make this better is if you added more to it. This is genuine and heart felt. I like it like that.
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Wow! This is great! You have a way with words! Thank you for entering my contest.
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thanks, i really do appreciate it!
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