come to me
at night
or during broad daylight
tell me a story
of whats come to past
tell me
cause I'm too scared to ask
tell me of those times I fell
and all my weaknesses come to tell
tell me their crude lies
and tell me their sweet goodbyes
tell me I need death
the sweet embrace of blood
tell me Im worthless
but tell me what they've done
remind me of flaws
tell me of weaknesses
harden my heart
turn my blood to ice
haunt me till dawn
or kill me at night
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
-
tell me their crude lies
and tell me their sweet goodbyes
tell me I need death
the sweet embrace of blood
tell me Im worthless
but tell me what they've done
Favorite Part! -
Wow
This poem is excellent filled with emotion and descriptive words. Unfortunately I can relate to this poem. But you capture this feeling so well. Thank you for sharing : )
-
I hope this is just a poem ...
and not an example of the way your mind works.
The poem itself is not that badly done, but it's far too negative for me to comment on. It could use some editing, of course. Punctuation in particular would improve it immensely.
Good luck with your writing and with your personal problems, if indeed they are like this.
-
-
i just think it ends kinda abruptly but nobody has mentioned that yet so i guess thats ok lol
-
-
Oh my goodness
Listen not to the voices that screams out but the whispers hidden deep inside . The voice of need is there the voice I care is there the voice of want within that often is pushed aside because the voice of sorrow blasts out ahead of all . Release the pain and write the thoughts out and when they are clear let your fingers dance about the keys and hear the child within so forgotten over time. Know your best friends and best love has always been there it just needs your embrace and to let it step forward and drown out the voice that causes pain . Find that wonderful person once forgotten and live again . We all have these thoughts its true we al have moments where we feel we are lost but one must know the mind can be controled and if you can think all those bad thoughts you can also think of good as well it is your choice which you will let scream the loudest
-
I applaud
Very true
In some cases
I have multiple personalites and thats all they really do...
They can also give me those images...
^^
Very good description though
makes me see it happening as I read it almost like a story.
-
speachless...
-
Do you actually hear voices like you say in this poem? You wrote it very well. Remember IF you heard voices you can comand them to go. You have the power to do that and they are forced to leave. But I hope this is just your lovely creative skill instead.
-
wow....
Uses alot of imagination. You are a very creative writer I love how the end comes so natural....Keep it up
-
I like it. This is interesting. You use imagery well. You have emotion in it. Tells a story. All in all good. I would break it up into stanza's though. Of course that is what I prefer you don't have to. Thanks for sharing this with us,
-
-
I woulda done that but i wrote it in like 5 seconds lol
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 11 of 11
