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Most Certain

I wear a plastic smile
and fumble with the laminated paper
that was placed into my still palm.
I wonder then if my timely training
would ever demand to be applied.
Looking down at this representation
of a future of most certain casualties,
I agonize over the few simple words:
Aed/CPR Certified.
Scenario's branch off into the bottom waters
of my mind-
Would I be able to resuscitate another

in such moments of urgency?

Oh sure, I've revived a dummy.

I've saved a doll or two.

But without my instructor standing near,

could I save a single soul?

Looking down at this representation
of a future of most certain casualties,

My thoughts are soothed by these words: 

"Together, we can save a life."

Author notes

Very rough draft. Anything you'd change I'd really like to know. I wrote it really fast, and I know it isn't at it's best. I'm more of a rhyming type of person.

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • HorrorFiend
    January 15
    Edit | Reply
    I wondered the same thing when we had to do this course in school and sadly, if anything happened to someone around me they'd be screwed.

    This is a really good write though, I enjoyed the opening lines the most. You say you're more of a rhyming person but you should stick with more like this, I think things can be more powerful when you don't stick to the format of rhyme.


  • Haygood gold member
    December 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Even in free verse it still has to have a flow. Just because it doesn't rhyme does not mean it can't be metered. I like the content. The meter needs some work is all. Hope that helps.


  • redbarchettadrive gold member
    December 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Great!

    This is an awesome rough draft!
    I an a CNA in Tennessee and have one of those non- laminated cards in my wallet. I too have saved the soul of a dummy only.
    I am best when I am rhyming too. I have been in the room and assisted a nurse administering CPR. I was calm, all others were freaking. The lady did not make it.
    Oh, I seen your baby, and she sure is a cutie!
    I believe I added you as a favorite because I seen on your profile that you like rhyming poetry. I have a ton of it.
    I'll check yours out, You check mine.


  • This Is My Story
    December 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I think this is a very good start and is better than most of the other poems I have read so far. However I would like to see you elaborate more on what happens after he tries to help the other. Otherwise this is very well written especially for a "rough draft".


    • Simone Brooklyn
      December 23, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      I'm not sure what part you'd like me to go into more detail with, could you elaborate? I'd like to make it as good as possible =]

      • This Is My Story
        December 23, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        Okay I'd like to know what happens after you try to revive the person. Do they live? Do they die? I mean it's your poem so you dont have to change anything if you dont want to but the way you have it written now leaves your reader hanging. Thats not always bad but this poems seems like you've ended it right before something big happens. I dont know. It's your poem, your decision.

        • Simone Brooklyn
          December 23, 2008
          Edit | Reply
          There really isn't anyone in the poem that is dying or anything, or needs CPR, it's just based off of wondering if, in that situation, you could do something. At the end it doesn't outright say it, but it shows that I would try to help that person. But if you'd like, I can work that into the poem ;D

          • This Is My Story
            December 23, 2008
            Edit | Reply
            Okay I get it now. Haha sorry I was commenting on it when I was like half asleep. Yeah just do whatever you want to with it.

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