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~So I Just Dream~

Missing image

 

 

 

I held my acoustic in

my hands and touched

a forgiving note…..

 

 

and thought of you…

 

 

I see you every day

and long to touch

your heart so you

can feel mine.

 

 

 

I want to be inside of

you, to run through

your every thought.

 

 

But…

 

 

all I have are my

dreams and that

is where I find you

at.

 

 

 

your incased in my

arms loving me filling

my emptiness.

 

 

 

If I could sleep all day

and keep the dreams of

you alive forever in my

mind I would.

 

 

 

I wonder what it would

feel like to lay next to

you

 

 

 

hearing your heart beat

for me and see the rise

and fall of your chest as

you breathe.

 

 

 

I want to trace the out

line of your face and

taste your mouth,

 

 

how I long for you

and ache,

 

 

baby I need you,I want

to make you forget every 

thing for at least a moment

 

 

~me too~

 

 

So I Just dream….. of you

 

 

 

Rend The Veil

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Comments

1 - 39 of 39

  • estbelle gold member
    June 21
    Edit | Reply
    I can most definitely relate to this feeling...sigh


  • Pamela A Lamppa silver member
    May 1
    Edit | Reply
    A very pretty piece filled with longing desire of the physical. Nicely done. ~Pamela


  • MJ Donnelly gold member
    February 13
    Edit | Reply
    Wow...this gave me goose bumps it was that good.

    mj.

  • Yvette Champ gold member
    February 11

    Edit | Reply
    I am listening to Boyzone sing " Better" and how fitting, for this dreamscape poetry sings to the soul that is not solo with tendril's of yearning comforting in the calling of if only, if only, me and you made two. Loved it's depths and mellow warmth. Perhaps your incased maybe you're incased, as always, must be your perogative dearest Poetess. So I just Dream took me back to the days of sweet crush from afar where every day felt as if it was summertime. Especially liked " I want to be inside of you" for how much closer can two be than when that's where home is, inside the heartland. A pleasure to read.


  • Danny Beatty gold member
    January 28
    Edit | Reply
    this is utterly beautiful and tender and I simply think Swan Song's comment is right on ... also the small pieces of imagry, the face, themouth, exterior and interior ... you cast a veil upon your adored one and lift it away and hold it close to you and sigh, cast and sigh and cast and sigh . what a rythmic action is in this poem ... totally cool


    • Rend the Veil gold member
      January 29
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you so much

      for stopping and commenting, your thoroughness of your comment was much appreciated,thank you many blessings

      Rend


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    January 7
    Edit | Reply
    Oh yes... very romantic! Sigh... don't we all long for this!

    • Rend the Veil gold member
      January 8
      Edit | Reply

      I love romance !

      and to write about it is my muse..thank you so much sis for
      comming by, your coments are always like little treasures to me

      Blessings

      Rend


  • trekkergirl
    January 5
    Edit | Reply
    I really do just love this one. This is sooo romantic and soooo good. I love it. Thanks for sharing this and thanks for entering it into my contest. You are one very talented writer. And I love the picture you placed in it too. It only added to your poem. Great job on this one!


    • Rend the Veil gold member
      January 8
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you so much for coming

      by and comenting and most of all for your contest

      Many blessings

      Rend


  • Swan song gold member
    January 1
    Edit | Reply
    I held my acoustic in

    my hands and touched

    a forgiving note…..





    and thought of you…

    This is origonal and though the entire poem is extremely powerful and pulverized my soul feather soft. Your first stanza went for the knockout
    and you got it

  • silverfish
    January 1

    Edit | Reply
    these poems are getting better, oh so much better all the time . . . please, mam. may i have another? -beatletwistfish


    • Rend the Veil gold member
      January 3
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you so much

      For coming by and reading my work. its always a pleasure
      thank you again

      Rend


  • Michael H.
    December 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hey Rend. This was great I especially like:

    "I want to be inside of

    you, to run through

    your every thought."


    Great stuff!


  • Melba Solis-Z
    December 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I enjoyed reading this very heartfelt.


    • Rend the Veil gold member
      December 28, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Hey sis

      thanks for coming by and reading my poem.
      its always a pleasure, blessings to you

      Rend


  • jazzcat gold member
    December 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I really liked how this started and there are some excellent moments in here.

    The stanza:
    baby I need you,I want
    to make you forget every
    thing for at least a moment

    Somehow seemed out of place with the feelings you had previously evoked. I think because it went from a feeling of "wanting" to a feeling of "pleading".

    I also would have liked to seen something about the 'acoustic' again -- it's a good image and bringing it back in later in the poem would give you more structure to the piece.

    Otherwise, I love the feelings you evoked in here. I could feel the longing and the subtle desire just to be near someone loved. You carry those feelings so well and give the poem a greater depth because of the honesty of your words.

    • Rend the Veil gold member
      December 23, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you

      Dane, i wanted to show all aspects of love and the emotions that flow with it,i will look to see where i can incorporate the guitar, i have some idea's thank you so much,

      Blessings

      Rend


  • maktub
    December 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Stunning, as usual...as I told you when commented on another piece...
    somehow, you express my own thoughts, feelings, ache and desire, with such perfection, that I cannot help but be awed.
    Smile♫


    • Rend the Veil gold member
      December 22, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you

      for stopping by Rachel,you have the heart of someone that loves deep
      many blessings

      Rend

      • maktub
        December 22, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        When I read your pieces, I can see such depth in you also...I love them
        It occurred to me - those who love deep are to be envied, and yet pitied, at the same time.


  • Disturbed Prodigy
    December 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    all i can say to this that whomever inspired it is one lucky person cause there is a strong emotion here, keep ti flowing


  • Nom de Plume
    December 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Lovely write Rend... tender an soft and filled of loving thoughts and emotions... wonderful


    • Rend the Veil gold member
      December 22, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you so much

      for coming by and commenting on my poem, your always
      most welcomed


      Rend


  • In Too Deep1
    December 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is a beautiful and giving song of love and unselfishness. Each tear penned in this writ is as delicate as a flower's petal. It is a rarity to find, understand, and embrace such a pure love. Thank you for allowing such a glimpse into who you are. A most enjoyable read.


    • Rend the Veil gold member
      December 22, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      hey my friend,

      thank you so much for coming by, your comments
      mean alot to me,

      blessings and love

      Rend


  • DolceVito gold member
    December 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Brilliant

    Truly an awesome write, Rend. Your words, this entire beautifully expressed write, captured my heart and soul...I love it.


    • Rend the Veil gold member
      December 22, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Vito thank you

      for your comments and ever encouragement!!
      blessings to you

      Rend


  • Nevel
    December 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is so very love done, with soft and vivid imagery...I really like it! Love -poems aren't my "thing" yet. "I want to be inside of you, to run through your every thought" -----> my favorite line
    Erwin


    • Rend the Veil gold member
      December 22, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you Erwin,

      for your comment and for coming by to just read!
      blessings

      Rend


  • Ken-Maverick
    December 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is a soft and sensual piece Rend,
    i can tell its spoken from the heart,
    Lovely write

    All the best to you

    Ken


    • Rend the Veil gold member
      December 22, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Oh Ken

      You know me well! thank you so much for your comment!
      bless you always Rend


  • chilali
    December 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Rend! Wow. This was amazing. A beautiful poem penned with soft and tender loving words! I love the imagery and the word choice. The first stanza captured me into the rest of the poem. It was just so stunning. Well done I love reading your work.

    Love,
    Ylova

    • Rend the Veil gold member
      December 22, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      coming for you Ylova

      I am honored to have your comment! and for you to stop by!
      Thank you for your compliment too!

      Blessings

      Rend


  • Maxboy gold member
    December 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Very nice Rend, this is such a beautiful love poem.

    Wonderful

1 - 39 of 39