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I'm a girl

i am a girl who likes too play and model clay,
i cut myself evry morn let the darkness come to me,
my poor soul rots away every day every way goodbye butterflys,
hello darkness let disguise i love my fish i love my parrot i hate my rainbow i love my unicorn i love my rat i hate my shoes let me walk away in pain.
goodbye morning.

A contest entry

what do think?

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • aanika
    February 6
    Edit | Reply
    no.


  • Danna Hobart
    February 6
    Edit | Reply
    I am going to leave the same comment I left on this poem the last time you entered it in one of my contests.

    You spelled the word "every" wrong in the second line. Your lack of capitalization and punctuation is dreadful. If you are going to enter contests, you need to pay attention to the rules.


  • heavenbird gold member
    February 4
    Edit | Reply

    no.


    Please wait for the other judges comment.

  • heavenbird gold member
    January 28
    Edit | Reply
    This is my personal comment for the catharsis rounds.
    Upon the closing of the contest, I will comment back with a 'yes' or 'no.'

    That being said, I really didn't get this.
    I have really no idea where you're coming from, and I'm not sure if this is a serious entry or not.
    Your grammar is terrible, which is something we asked for in the contest.

    I'll be back.


  • trekkergirl
    January 5

    Edit | Reply
    okay question... in what way is this a romantic poem? I really don't think this fits into what I was wanting for this contest. Thanks for sharing this but I don't think it fits in with this contest.

  • Danna Hobart
    December 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    You spelled the word "every" wrong in the second line. Your lack of capitalization and punctuation is dreadful. If you are going to enter contests, you need to pay attention to the rules.


  • Xraided
    December 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This poem expresses a lot of pain...and I have a sneaking suspicsion it leaks away regrets too, but unfortunately I didn't quite understand it. It wasn't as well written as it could have been, but I do like this poem. It shows a lot of emotions, and..its very...mod. I like it a lot. Good write!

1 - 8 of 8