It was the curve of dunes
stretched beneath the endless blue–-
heat radiating from silken sands,
the unspoken promise
of oasis
that drew me so completely
into you.
Your grains held the sun’s power
and slowly released it
through a distant shimmer
that made me to dream
of traversing your solemn tracts–-
to dream of cupping arid crystals
to reddening skin.
I know that rains came once
and carved you with bursting streams
that softened sun-baked earth
awakening blossoms hidden within.
Life was yours then and you were his
in joyous rapture, drunken fullness.
How you must have relished those days
when you gave your every
fragrance to him that intoxicated you
filling your want
with the rush of him.
Now I trod those lonely wadis
and marvel at the beauty of despair;
the captivating colors of wilderness.
Maybe your silence is my music;
your witholding my obsession,
but your regret haunts me
on every desert plain and windless hill.
The mystery of you–-
a Sphinx waiting, longing,
knowing.
And all along I pass
the crumbling monuments
of forgotten men who desired to have you
but I know that you love
no man.
Author notes
Leather grab bag.
Prompt: Ten Miles To Nowhere
A contest entry
- NOTORIOUS GRAB BAG CONTEST by Dalaney.
1200 points, ended January 5, 13 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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lovely bronze
I was awsh in the desert , scents of sand and spice mixed with the promise of release, a fab write
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Ah, I can easily envision the majesty of this piece, as my ex was from Egypt and I know the sensations of the oasis quite well. Unfortunately, he decided to focus on teaching me those more barren spaces of the desert, instead. 
Congratulations on your bronze trophy from Lane for this one, Brian. You are certainly a force to be reckoned with, it appears. 
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Your first stanza makes me swoon. How lovely are your words, and how delightfully beautiful to view from the mind's eye. Your progress to enthrall the reader with line after line, and then...you pivot, and the reality of pain, and abandonment occurs. What a masterpiece of realism is written here poet. It has been far too long since my last visit but I am grateful to have stopped by today. Simply elegant!
Much Love & Respect ♥
Renee
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Beautiful.
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Beautiful.
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This is certainly a write that has impressed me, your words are so enchanding yet almost haunting, a beautiful write, congratulations on the bronze although I feel it deserved more credit.
Well written and indeed a pleasure to read.... julie x
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Using a word from one of your early poems in this contest; "Magick"!
Your imagery was so well balanced with the rawer train of thought that the emotions just got me on different levels throughout. Wonderful job.
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From "the curve of the dunes"
you set the stage, draw in the viewer,
for the tale unfolds not unlike
time-lapse photography,
"awakening blossoms hidden within"
but not in days but in eons.
Memorable, haunting...
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"Now I trod those lonely wadis
and marvel at the beauty of despair;
the captivating colors of wilderness."
Wow....this was such an eloquent statement of the starkness of the absence of feeling. I loved this poem.
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fantastic. its a rare talent to paint the landscape beautifully without losing the personal aspect. i wish there were more to say. 5 and 6 are just so perfect it hurts.
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I was going to say "superb" too!
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Brian - superb. i don't know what i was expecting really with this prompt, but you far outdid anything i could imagine. you are a beautiful writer. i second everyone below and then some. Thank you so much for entering my contest. You raised the bar, believe me.
love, lane
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i agree with tara, im am awed.
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I came here from a link sent by Ten thousands cicadas. Boy I'm glad she thought I'd like this poem, she was right!
You opened the poem with a wonderful visual, which already set the readers in the right mood.
Very well done with the metaphors, I loved the lines:
'The mystery of you–
a Sphinx waiting, longing,
knowing'
Your poem blends beauty of feelings and nature imageries.
Very enjoyable
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this is wonderful poetry Brian - esp. the first stanza..is soooo amazing..
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Really beautiful! I thought this was well done, especially liked the stanza about rains carving in sunburst streams. Lovely imagery!
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Simply stunning writing....gentle, wise and knowing!
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Oh wow, this is totally amazing!!!... x
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Okay, so you totally had me in the very first stanza, and I knew I wouldn't have to finish reading it to know I love this... so I didn't! Great poem.
Seriously, this was absolutely alluring. I AM totally engaged right from the start and drawn into the mystery of this. The imagery is so totally vivid and sensory that I could see and feel her as he wanders through her. There are few poem that are so captivating that you instantly, and without trying, shut out every other thought and sensation that might otherwise cross your conscious mind. This is one of those. I am taken there to experience this. I am not surprised, and yet continually am amazed at your amazing depth of understanding, to which you relate first, and then are able to so magnificently put down into words so that others might get a revelatory glimpse, too.
The metaphor is striking... the whole idea of the she-desert and the Sphinx was done so well. The Sphinx to me is a guardian, and if I recall some lore correctly, at least one in particular was said to have tested those who would pass by. Few passed or were accepted, though many attempted . I found myself taken in by the sultry feel of him exploring her empty waterways, and yet could not deny the violence of that barren place. It seems you at once paint a desolate picture and also one that is filled, except...with destruction. A no man's land is certainly a place of death, where man's most valiant efforts to advance his cause are shot down when he is just short of conquering his goal. It is that place where both hope and tragic disappointment pique. To juxtapose war metaphor with this place of quiet desolation is troubling and perfect. It is a place where so many men have dreamed and have fallen, or been found wanting... and yet you absolutely cannot deny HER loss. It is palpable. It is consuming. The way you piled these feelings and images on top of one another was genius, I think. You can't wonder at his desire and deny hers, and yet you are faced with the idea that she loves "no man."
I loved the way you worded that end. I was at first shocked because I wanted her to just fold him up in her sands and allow him to find a well within her. Yet I could not give up all hope. It seems to me that there may be some intended word play in those last two lines. I am reminded of the possession implied by "no man's land." As if to say, this land does not belong to NO man, but rather actually BELONGS to No Man... where "No Man" becomes his own entity... and THIS man is he. I just can't imagine her disappointing HIM, this one who is so in tune not only with her beauty, but with her despair....he who is smitten by both what she has been and what is is now. I don't know, I guess I want to believe that she haunts this one on purpose...that the unspoken promise is real and not imagined.
Either way, the story here is second to none, and the mastery of the art and phrasing is superior. "Your silence my music, your withholding my obsession".... I mean, it doesn't any more gripping than that. And the way you sectioned off little bits of the story so perfectly.. particularly the Sphinx part and the isolated word "knowing"... it just reeks of genius! So much meaning is found in that blank space. Genius, I tell ya!
There is so much more to be said technically about this... but I will quit for now. Will likely reread and comment more at some later time. For now, many kudos to you!
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omg! A friend sent me this link and I am so glad!
This is amazing...
"How you must have relished those days
when you gave your every
fragrance to him that intoxicated you
filling your want
with the rush of him"
This is brilliant...a flowing of deep emotion and honesty....wow I am impressed
Lynda
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i am SO excited for whatever goes here
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You = tough contestant.
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