Whatever happen to Edgar.

I can pick up my pen,
And write a bunch of melancholy lyrics
That show how I feel.
I’m not one of those people
Who wear their emotions on their sleeve.
I’m the kind of man to save all of me inside of me,
And never let it go.
This way I’m the only one who’s getting hurt,
And no one has to know.
I can smile big and laugh,
All the while burning from inside, soul deep.
From within, a rage builds it’s pressure, and
Who knows when it’s going to be relieved.
Something may trigger,
Something explodes, and
I can only hope it’s only me that has to see it go.
I’ve got to think these things through,
And block out all that I feel.
I’m a liar, I’m a fake,
But I’m the only one who knows.
I can be someone that everybody want to see,
But no one gets a glimpse at who is really me.
The pain can’t ebb away the outside,
If it’s steel of the strongest kind,
And I’m made of the strongest lies and deceit,
But I don’t know how long this can go on.
I collapsing from the inside out,
I’m losing all control.
Where did these emotions come from?
I thought that they were conquered foes,
Ones defeated long ago.
I try to suppress you,
But you slip into the cracks of my heart.
It’s jealousy and hurt of being rejected and alone.
No matter how tight I close my eyes,
I can’t block out the fire in my eyes;
Its darker when they’re open.
And when I lay me down to sleep,
And pray my soul the Lord to keep,
I’ll cherish the moments that are less
Than what devilish dreams can haunt me now.
My friends, though they try,
Are too far gone to pull me out.
The dismal abyss into which I’m slowly sinking,
Is sucking me and all that I am,
Away from everything I hoped I knew.
I’m collapsing from the inside out,
I’m losing all control of me.
Death, take me away!
Taken to the bottle in my final hours,
I’m repentant of who I am and what I’ve done.
For days, I have wandered,
In this weary, dreary nightmare we call life.
Let unconsciousness overtake me,
In my younger man’s clothes.
Death will be my escape.
Death, where all I’ve ever known and love now reside.
I’m losing all control of me,
I’m collapsing from the inside out.
Now my own thoughts seem to be a murmur,
I’m dying of a broken heart.
“Lord help my poor soul!”