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You're My [Ultimate]

Theres no Need to Complicate
This Time we Found
Let me Demonstrate
Our Love Profound

Theres not time for Hesitating
We can't Leave ourselves Waiting
Locked Forever in Our Hearts
We've been this Way from the Start

This Opportunity, Lets Shine
This Fortune its Yours
Not just one, But Mine
Nothing else will Ensure

Here we go Again
Can you Feel the Adrenaline
Rushing through my veins
My Soul can't Contain

This is Us
Forever We have Stayed
Theres Nothing to Discuss
No longer being Afraid

Theres no Need to Complicate
This Time we Found
Let me Demonstrate
Our Love Profound

Oh how I've Missed You
And I Know you Feel the Same
When I'm feeling Blue
You're Always there to Claim

The Best of Friends
This Love we Have Extends
Out Beyond their Reach
This accord, No One can Teach

I am Yours
You are Mine
Thats for Sure
A Perfected Design

♥A Crazy-Love=Thats what We Share

Author notes

I would like to mention that I was inspired by the words from a song, I'm Yours- Jason Mraz.

I have been writing, mostly when I'm sad and distressed lately, and I've completely neglected anything happy. So here is my attempt to write something more bright.

& please let me know if there is any way to make this better at all!! Because I am thinking of giving this to someone as part of their Christmas Present, since it is something from the heart.



Prompt #2!

A contest entry

So, what do you think about this poem??

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 17 of 17

  • Random Renee
    September 15

    Edit | Reply
    truly is something from the heart theyll love it dear!! good write and very sweet presents are fun to make..good luck thanks for entering and good luck to you!

  • excellent write:]


  • whitenoise
    January 7

    Edit | Reply
    this poem is strong with love a nice flow to it again and again not to long with many emotions dancing through your words nice write xx


  • trekkergirl
    January 5

    Edit | Reply
    This is very nice. I especially like the very last stanza. "I am yours, You are mine, thats for sure, a perfect design." Great stanza there. Well descriptive. Full of emotion. I like it. thanks for sharing this with us and thanks for entering it into this contest.


  • xxRainbowDawnxx
    January 3

    Edit | Reply
    awww this is ever so sweet!
    I think you show a real dedication to love here.
    I know that love is the most important thing in my life too.


  • Jeremy0826 silver member
    December 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is so heartfelt, sincere, and beautiful!
    I really enjoyed reading it and thank you for
    featuring it here! All the best to you in all
    of these contests and take care!




    Jeremy0826


  • Fat and Lonely
    December 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    It's Great!
    Reading this on Christmas Eve, 16:38pm
    in the uk, it's fabulous!
    It flows greatly!
    3 applauses!


  • yourbentangel
    December 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Since I am reading this on Christmas Eve, I think that I would be honored if my best friend wrote me something like this. Sadly she doesn't write poetry. You want constructive criticism? I don't think that I have any, The rhyme was not forced and flowed well. The repeat of the first stanza in the 6th was strategically well placed and very effective in the write. I loved this. Thank you for posting and sharing. Good luck in the contests that you have entered it into!


  • teenagefailure
    December 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I really like this!
    It reminds me of when I had a best friend!
    This is amazing!

    My favorite lines are;

    Oh how I've Missed You
    And I Know you Feel the Same
    When I'm feeling Blue
    You're Always there to Claim

    I am Yours
    You are Mine
    Thats for Sure
    A Perfected Design

    ♥A Crazy-Love=Thats what We Share

    I love then ending.

    very nice!

    -Erin


  • EPoD
    December 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    The yellow makes my brain bleed
    Seriously however I think its sweet.
    The only part I'm stuck on is the line:
    "You're always there to claim"
    I'm not sure I grasp the meaning of that


    • Crazy-Love
      December 23, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Lol, sorry. I'm obsessed with yellow pretty much.
      And as for that line; Its saying that the person I'm talking about is always there to "claim" me as her friend. That no matter what, I'm her's.
      And I'd also just like to say, thank you very much for the comment!


  • nobodys-girl
    December 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is really really good and i think it would make a great christmas present! the rhyming was good, i really like the pattern you used. thank you so much for entering my contest and best of luck!


  • Desire gold member
    December 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Precious~

    Aaaaaaaaaaaaw this is a Beauty of a piece versed and Happy is a good thing for many need to be given much to smile about - You delivered
    Excellent imagary and emotions evoked~
    Love how You brought forth from within
    Bravo!
    I also Appreciate Your comment on my work
    Thank You for sharing Your Heart and Spirit~
    Many blessings to You in all You do Sweet Soul
    Best wishes in the contest too
    with much love & light~ Desire~*~


  • rinzurajan
    December 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I am Yours
    You are Mine
    Thats for Sure
    A Perfected Design


    omg...!!!hopelessly romantic lines...

    loved ur work...it reminds me of my love...and the hopeless love i have for him which doesn't dwindle at any time...


  • Jade.Butterfly gold member
    December 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh i loved this!!
    And the song is one of my favorite songs i have worn that song completely out but yet i still love it , And this poem was absolutely stunning. Great imagery and alot of emotion.
    "I am Yours
    You are Mine
    Thats for Sure
    A Perfected Design"
    ^^^ My favorite of all stanza's!
    Great job my friend, UhMayZING!
    -Mandi


  • lowercase prelude gold member
    December 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    A wonderful poem
    So well penned and with such beautiful expressions


  • Violinstrings silver member
    December 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    very good

    it was written well with good words

1 - 17 of 17