I'll follow you, if you'll follow me. We'll meet together in a grave, and when we get there, at the gates we'll hear the words 'the judged be damned and the wretched saved.'Then we'll lie together with these whispered sins, hearing the cursed cry our names. I'll hold on to you, if you'll hold on to me. We'll see each other some sunny day....
I feel the fog touch our grave I throw my curse all across their dreams. I feel your pain coursing through my veins hear that beautiful sound, bang bang.
If this should be our last night
If you should meet me in the darkness below our feet
Take my hand
Let me show you the light one last time
I'll embrace you my love, if you’ll take me away
I'l save your soul tonight, if you'll save mine
I feel the fog touch our grave I throw my curse all across their dreams. I feel your pain coursing through my veins hear that beautiful sound, bang bang.
We’ll stand together, our hearts in our hands. Forget the shame, the blood and tears, we’ll hold each other through the pain. I’ll follow you, if you’ll follow me as we guide each other through this dance.
I prayed for death, hoped I would die instead I heard ‘why do you make me cry’ I looked up to find you weren’t there it turned out exactly as I feared. With me alone and you still dead I only hear your voice in my head…
I feel the fog touch our grave I throw my curse all across their dreams. I feel your pain coursing through my veins hear that beautiful sound, bang bang.
I'll hold on to you, if you'll hold on to me...we'll see each other some sunny day...some sunny day
Author notes
This is a song that I've been working on for quite some time, and it really means something to me. A very personal story and I hope anybody who reads this feels like I do about this one.
A contest entry
- Songs/Lyrics Options by albinoblacksheep720.
700 points, ended January 24, 38 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - darkside by emoempess.
700 points, ended May 16, 201 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Enter a prewrite! by Blue-Rose Beauty.
550 points, ended September 5, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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This is a good piece but yet another piece above the line limit. Sigh. Sorry to have to disqualify you but there were only 2 rules and you broke one. Best to you
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I feel the fog touch our grave I throw my curse all across their dreams. I feel your pain coursing through my veins hear that beautiful sound, bang bang.
Wow.. so descriptive. Beautiful!
Thanks for entering. -
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Outstanding. Divine Brilliance indeed. So raw and soul shattering. It's Brilliant. I loved it. Thank you so much for sharing it with me. I can really relate.
It's got great imagery, which accents the captivating flow
! Great write deary!
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I really like this. I really think it flows quite well, lol
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"I throw my curse all across their dreams."
That's the only part I have a problem with.
otherwise I like it
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Do you have any ideas of what might sound better? Feel free to express some if you like.
Thanks.
What do you think of:
'I feel the fog touch our grave,i let out one last scream.'
Or, possibly, take that line out completely. -
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falling upon burried dreams
maybe -
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Hmmm...
I like that. We'll see what Jaydin thinks whenever he gets back on. Thanks for the idea.
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Its beautiful Jaydin. Its magical and I can see what you mean. I feel it.
Brilliant work as usual love.
-Madi
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