Im lying here in pain
and i cant make it go away
How could i let this happen
i made plenty of mistakes
I let her fade out of my life
slowly so i couldnt hurt her
like everyone else did
i made plenty of mistakes
i just wish i could start it all over
make her realize i love her
nothing else matters to me
Then for her to be happy.
I cant let her go
without her knowing how i feel.
your verdict
Comments
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feeling someone slip away is painful, I think you captured that well, speak to her what do you have to lose
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Try to move away from the cliche. With every line ask yourself, does this say anything new? Often it won't, nothing new under the sun you know, but also ask yourself, does it say something in an interesting way? Right now this poem isnt doing it for me.
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Awesome
I feel I can really relate to this, well done
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