With wanting strong as death is strong
The game here never ends.
The moon appears where stars belong
Suddenly, light bends.
Teenage love is often futile
But the pain is just as brutal
And the love felt as intense
As after adolescence.
The moon appears. Light bends.
Come, my dear. We're more than friends.
Author notes
For my boyfriend.
A contest entry
- Give me your Romantic poetry. by trekkergirl.
550 points, ended April 15, 55 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - prewrites round contest #1 by serenity silvermoon.
425 points, ended December 27, 2008, 86 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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not bad. I would have added at the end though not mere friends. But it is your work. I like it. Says a lot even though it is a short poem. Good write. Thanks for sharing this with us and thanks for entering it into my contest.
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I don't really see how that line would fit at the end of this poem... please explain your suggestion.
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Your words "Come, my dear. Wer're more than friends."
I would have written something along the lines of
Come my dear
don't you realize
that we are more
than mere friends.
To me this emphasis the relationship more. They are greater than friends.
just my suggestion and you don't have to do it. I did like your poem either way. -
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Thanks for explaining
Thanks for the suggestion. I think that it would ruin the brevity of the couplet, though... I try to say a lot in very little. =)
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