Pain and Pills

It is morning-
lying here waiting
for you to overcome.
Please hit me soon
your all I want to think of...

Taking five
  little white
    speckled lies.

Every minute is long
but my will is patient.
Damn it, "COME ON!"
To feel, I hate it.

Giving up everything
for just one taste,
doing anything for you,
giving every penny I make.

I am here still waiting.
Oh, here it comes.
My eyes, my arms, my legs,
yeah, bring on the numb.

Pain fades.
Basking my way.
"FUCK YOU, you don't understand,
my everyday."

They left me-
one slipped off
my wedding finger.
The pain still lingers.

One left me
a long time ago.
Still breathing... he keeps drinking,
"Daddy where did you go"

But there is one
hurting my soul the most.
a cocktail of pills
(he became lost and cold)

I am sorry little brother
for not coming when you called.
Three hours later,
I lost it... I lost it all.

Now our birthday is empty,
just like my world.
He died with the memories
of a once happy little girl.

My very first memory
was carrying him across the floor.
I always protected him,
but I can't save him anymore.

"Now rest, little brother,"
I'll see him again some day,
maybe sooner then later,
in maybe the same damn way.

he was every part
of the life I lived, now dimmed.
My bestfriend, my past,
my secrets and dreams died with him.

Pain IS that fucking day.
Now my life's a bitch.
"FUCK YOU PILLS, FUCK YOU DEATH,"
how can I get through this.

I miss him say,"Hey, sis."

In a few hours;
when the pain gets too real
with the world spinning faster
and not being still,
I'll find a handfull
and pop you fast,
with the hope you
and my body will last.

By: Amy Royal