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Debris

She's nothing but a garbage dump.
  She lies there like a stinking lump:
infectious affection, cast away,
  a pile of rot and rank decay.
The rabid rodents masticate
  the fragile bags that separate
the heights of love and depths of hate;
  they flow as one, incorporate.
I first react with blank disgust,
  then wallow in my filthy lust.
For I am just the same as she,
  a stinking pile of love's debris.

Author notes

Submitting it here before I turn it in as an exercise in metaphor for the "Colors of Poetry" class.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Edna Sweetlove
    September 18

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    Those first two lines
    "She's nothing but a garbage dump.
    She lies there like a stinking lump"
    really are stunners!
    And the closing couplet is a rave as well! I shall have to add this into one of my lists of fave poems just as soon as I have wiped up the vomit from my keyboard!


  • Ellis gold member
    August 7
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    God! This is striking. Damn good is what it is.


  • DesolatELifE
    March 26
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    I find myself here once more.. I began to read it before I realised that I'd read it before.
    This time, one line wasn't as nicely flowing as the others. I said it was 'flawless' last time, so maybe I read it differently.
    'infectious affection, cast away,' - for me, that line only works when I am reading it a lot faster than the other lines make me want to read.

    I also noticed this time how wonderful the ending is.

    'She's nothing but a garbage dump.
    She lies there like a stinking lump:'

    'For I am just the same as she,
    a stinking pile of love's debris.'

    I love reference to prior lines in the endings of poems. Great.


  • DesolatELifE
    March 7

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    Noticing that you're an officer in a sonnet group thing and a teacher on here as well, I'm not surprised to read something so flawless. Very nice.


  • dismantle-me
    January 3
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    Awesome stuff. I love the flow, and how every line seems to hold such venom and disgust.


  • Sharcu silver member
    December 28, 2008

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    I thought you didn't write poetry anymore I'm glad I stopped by your page and was able to read this, though. I was surprised to see something new from you. You should write/post more of your work... or at least email it to me Always a pleasure

    --Tim


  • Andiness
    December 21, 2008

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    You are the best poet I've ever seen...seriously, you have the best style and is the style I've been looking for for years!!

    --Pet
    Merry Christmas!!
    Please keep it up...I cant wait until I get back from my vacation and I can read more...wow you know your good if I want ym vacation to end for you!!

1 - 7 of 7