I do not like this friggin' season
Not one bit, I have my reasons
I sit and smile, it feels like treason
I hold my breath, I'm barely breathing
I really dread this holiday
Can't stand the elves, don't like the sleigh
Everyday, I sit and pray that it all just goes away
Away I say, away I pray, I don't like it, anyway
It's simply broken, and can't be fixed
I think this season should just be nixed
Yes, that's right, simply eighty sixed
And if it was, it might not be missed
I am allergic to the stupid tree
It creeps me out up on his knee
I'll just avoid it, that is the key
Festivities don't agree with me
Don't like Santa, the reindeers stink
All the helpers are little finks
Just thinking about it makes me shrink
Eyes always watching...blink, blink, blink, blink
I loathe the red, the white, the green
Everywhere, it's quite obscene
Call me Grinch, say that I'm mean
But I still can't stand this Christmas scene
The stores all floor the gaudy displays
Ho, Ho, Ho is all I hear people say
All this to acknowledge one greedy day?
You can keep it, it's not my way
Barbie and Bobby always fight
Day after day, and night after night
They pull and punch with all their might
Yet still get presents, it's just not right
Damp cold weather, ice on the ground
'Tis the season where that's all found
Where summer goes to slowly drown
'Cause one big old fat man comes to town
Eggnog, lights, a Christmas feast
These are some things that I like least
Instead of chaos, I crave some peace
That hides when holidays are released
Fake friendships and the cliched cheer
Greetings that are most insincere
The loneliness, the fears, the tears
Christmas is my worst time of year
I just don't like this friggin' season
Not one bit, I've said my reasons
I sit and smile, still feels like treason
I hold my breath, but i'm still breathing
Everyday, I sit and pray
That it all just goes away
Away I say, away I pray
I don't like it, anyway...
Author notes
DR. SEUSS STYLE- Twisted
Inspired by Green Eggs and Ham
Just gave it whirl, this is what came out, hope you enjoy!!
In a list
A contest entry
- Twisted Dr suess by Lucian Valcor.
575 points, ended January 10, 9 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - A Not So Holly Jolly Christmas by Carpe Noctem.
850 points, ended January 7, 16 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Holidays round contest 1 - christmas - prewrites by serenity silvermoon.
460 points, ended December 27, 2008, 16 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
-
Very cute write. I like the rhyme. You made a lot of good points too.
-
LOL I SO would have wanted to give this a higher award than honorable mention. This amused me so much, I can't even begin to tell you. You made the holiday weirdness so much lighter for me and I thank you for that. Thanks very much for entering, and congrats on the hm!
-
Quite funny with fine rhyme. The rhythm is a little off. Still, an enjoyable read. Congrats on the gold!
-
Your immages and thoughts here are very curious and very much original ones..very refreshing poetry you conceived here...well done...
-
Standing on my chair clapping!
This is a complete and wonderful twist on the Christmas spirit! I found myself laughing out loud. Thank You! You should have friggin Won Gold!
-
AWESOME MOVE OVER GRINCH GOOD LUCK IN THE CONTEST
-
good rhyming skills-- this poem made me laugh a lot. it IS irritating how before thanksgiving even occurs, christmas decorations lurk in stores. also, as i sit wrapped up in a blanket while the -30 wind chill whips outside my Chicago home, i find myself loathing this season.
-
a dark christmas poem...but a good rhyming scheme...
-
very nice write you have here, loved the flow. thaks so much for your entry and best of luck to you in this contest and in the future
andi
(redhanded) -
Absolutely Delightful!!! The Grinch would be proud !
-
Quite the poem ;)
I absolutely loved it! It was humorous, witty, and just a very good read. Wonderful job -
once again, like most of yer writes, this is amazing. lol. and i don't care much for Christmas much myself... so i agree with this poem ^^ great write ^^
-
Now this is a poem I can relate with, I have to wholeheartedly agree with you on this subject. To begin I work at the customer service at Walmart and to see all those low lives coming in with their perfectly good gifts the day after Christmas to return them because it wasn't what they wanted from "Santa" is so...
I just don't understand people anymore, when I was growing up my Dad made it about family and not centered around the presents, which made me a happier person, but to see others showering in their greed makes the season, just so GAH!
Wonderful poem! I loved the rhyme and the message you shared with us!
Thank you for entering our contest!
Midnight Raeven
-
very well written poem I loved the flow of the words and the opinions expressed so far from what I have read this is one of my most favorite in this contest well done again and thank you for entering
Lucian" -
Just great to read, and I think you've captured the secret feelings of many people! (But I hope you do find a bit of peaceful joy, anyway!)
-
wow....that was good....i really liked it...nice job
-
As I read this I smiled. You did it well. I saw the contest, but I think I can't make it sound good. But I read your poem twice, & I loved it. Good luck. ~~Iridessa~~
-
What a clever poem, about everything that's wrong with Christmas -- or, to those that are offended by the Christian reference -- the HOLIDAYS.
Yup. That's my nut about the holidays. I think the biggest problem is that we're forgetting Jesus, making Christmas all about the Fat Man with a Sled and Reindeer.
I love the flow and the Seussian flow and rhyme here. Absolutely stellar, dear poet.
God bless you,
Zach -
lol.
i love it. i could picture the fuzzy man-thing in "green eggs and ham" reciting this. perfect. -
Great job! You had a very Seussful voice in this poem. It keeps readers' attention thoughout the piece, and is well-written. With a bit of sincerety, I hope you do have a Merry Christmas, and keep writing. God bless, and take care.
-
I'm thinking they should pass a law where only one out of six songs on the radio can be a Christmas song... I used to love the songs, but a two months of the same tired favorites over and over until the mind glazes over... yes, I seriously want to shoot some reindeer and that's normally not like me!
Well, if you're anything like the picture avatar you use, I can see why Santa's hoping you've got an extra long list!
-
Your rhyming is so smooth and natural ( just like Dr, Seuss). The seventh and eleventh stanzas are my favorites. You should write a holiday poetry book. It's a work of genius!
Adding your comment:
1 - 22 of 22
