Deep down in side I know what must be done
what NEEDS to be done, and yet I am truly scared.
For once in my life, absolute fear is taking control of my soul
and I am powerless to stop it, or overcome it.
I realize that I am destined to be great,
yet at what cost am I willing to obtain it?
What sacrifices will I throw down in this gauntlet of hardships?
Is the bible true to its word, my first born?
(I can only pray it’s not so…)
How does man truly judge ones greatness?
What does it mean to be great?
Alexander, Constantine, Einstein were great,
yet, this concept I do not fully understand.
To think I was so arrogant to believe
ones greatness was determined upon death
and how many people that showed to say good-bye.
I was a fool, and still am at times I must admit.
Greatness and I mean true greatness
isn’t decided upon by wealth, power or fame.
True greatness is measured on the lives;
the hearts and memories of people you’ve left behind
I will never be considered great, or even amazing you see;
I live on only in my children, who are slowly forgetting me.
Their memories are fading fast of the daddy who loved them once.
Who use to laugh, and cuddle, is now no more than dust…
I urge you all who read this as my untimely deathly wish
Inspire and touch everyone, with actions, words and gentle kiss.
Author notes
...This poem has just now been written but from a compiled mess of thoughts and fears when i was going through the Border Patrol process. Some of you may know that I'm a single father of two amazing children and while going through this I was scared because I knew that I needed this Job yet was afraid what would happen to my children...after reading the poem I find it only fair to share what I wrote down...to fully better understand the pain and fear that I was going through at the time in my life. I hope you enjoy.
It's 3 something in the morning and my mind is racing with thoughts of the unknown...
I can't seem to write down the fears and thoughts that are running ramped in my mind
it's like a giant waterfall with a never ending source of water...just pooling in my mind
Surrounded by those that think they know me...or those that use to and now time...space...
and the distance has changed everything... Friends changing and growing up walking down
their paths to the future they either knew was inevitable, or reaching the goals they have set before them
life is full of disappointments and what we may consider mistakes, the reality is though, that it is just an alternate route to the final destination wherever that may be... I wish that sometimes I would not have to go through the gauntlet or fight to stay afloat in this sea of confusion and uncertainty. To have a mindset and understanding that yes, I'm going to succeed in life, and accomplish my goals and be great...and to truly...and I mean truly believe that without doubt, is so incredibly hard. To those that say ignorance is bliss...I wish that were true, ignorance is just the excuse to ignore that which is going on and to pretend that everything will be ok, when in reality it's not. I know that a lot of this makes no sense to anyone that is reading it and that's ok. I needed to write and just get these thoughts and whateverness that's in my head out and written down so that I can sleep......it's apparently not working yet, and for that I do apologize for whoever reads this and feels that it's a waste of their time.
So I've been going through with this process of the Border Patrol and after 4 months I'm in the final stage of possibly being hired and leaving Omaha forever... I think deep down inside, it's something that I know must be done and needs to be done, and yet all in the same matter I'm scared to death. I know I'm destined to be great...but at what cost... What will I sacrifice to achieve this "greatness" how does one judge another to be a "GREAT" person or even achieve "GREATNESS" in general. I don't fully understand this concept...I've always thought to myself that when I die, I will know how "great" of a person I was by how many people attended my funeral... and it's not that at all... it's not how many people will be at my funeral or how many friends I had while I was alive or how much money I donated or anything like that... I think that to achieve true greatness it is how long you will stay in people's hearts and memories and what kind of impact that you have had on people's lives...
I know that I've pissed people off in the past and more than likely will in the future...I just hope that as I grow older and learn and mature into an adult that people will forgive me of the ignorance and stupidity that I once have lived in, and will recognize the change and growth in me...
I've recently recognized that the true Aaron is more of an introvert than an extrovert... It was very interesting to find that out about myself... I'm an open book for the most part, but when it comes to the intellectual conversations and true philosophical thinking, I don't enjoy having that on my sleeve for some reason. It's easier for me to "shoot the shit" per say than to really, talk... I'm too much of a dreamer, too much of a thinker, too much of a hopeless romantic...when I feel or dream...I really feel and I really dream. I do have aspirations to be great... It's just being on the right path to finally get there...that matters... I just hope that in the end...My kids will be inspired by the things I'm striving to become for not only me...but for them too...
What is one thing that stood out in this poem?
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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I certainly hope that with all the comments people have left here for you, you realize that ... well, bottom line youre a poet, a writer, and deeply feeling individual. All things you have said you know ... and yet you apologized for them. Poetry is just a form of expressing ones self when perhaps other methods seem futile. So writing and explaination like that is just the same thing, just not in a poem form, but wonderful none the less. You're a very talented person. . . Don't ever apologize for being the amazing person you are. Share and it will be recieved, if people dont like it, forget them. You'
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I'm pretty much speechless right now, reading this really made me think of the things that really matter and it's like a huge slap in the face. Your author notes were so insightful, and you sound like a fantastic father. The power behind this poem was beyond incredible. You did an amazing job.
Best of luck in the contest to you!
Take care
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I like that thoughts and what was once a mess of random words bouncing in your head was compiled into a Question to the World?
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Your thoughts are owned by so many..I too, once and perhaps may still believe that ones greatness is delievered by the members that pay tribute at the end of our journey.
You are not alone in believing or conceiving the ideas that You will... We are all insecure andc saddened at our inabilities from time to time. But speaking as a friend of Yours, You are a sincere person with the desire and drive to become more than the greatness You speak of....
becca
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speachless.
this, like so many other poems of yours, amazed me to the point of being speachless. the thoughts and emotions you poured into this write are so well expressed that i can clearly feel them all.
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this is a great write brudder. omg so full of emotion I love it! every verse to the very end was A-mazing. well pen'd keep up the good work!
andi
(redhanded)
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Aloha!
I am removing this on two counts...1. it is prose
2. it is entered in another contest...
you are more than welcome to read all of the rules and
try again! Best wishes now and always...
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Wordless
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Beautiful poem!!! Well done my friend!!! The AN was even better than the poem. You are already great!!! You will be even greater as time passes. I'm glad I can call you FRIEND
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DEEPLY EMOTIONAL
There is an old saying which I have found to be true. "If one does what they beleive in an stay strong in their beliefs than they will make a difference and gain fame." One may not gain world wide fame but fame can be in many forms. Stay strong and true to what you believe in my friend and you will acheive what you desire.'s
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I love how brave you are and how unsure you are, because it is all about intentions and honesty,
your right you know there is one path for each of us, we will continue to circles until we find it but we will find it.
I believe our intentions is what determines greatness not so much our actions.
and what we believe of ourselves truly believe wanting is not enough we need faith in ourselves and to do this we only need to loose the fear.
fear is nothing but an illusion.
amazing and truly brave write
I would give dozens of applauds if I could
God bless you my friend...
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"Be not afraid of Greatness. Some are born Great, some achieve Greatness, and some have Greatness thrust upon them" - William Shakespeare
That is all i have to say on this poem
Ken
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