Dark and Cold is this world of mine…
I cut at my wrists till the blood flows like wine…
I hide the scars up under my sleeves…
But no one can see the others it leaves…
The scars that exist hidden in my mind…
The ones that the Doctors and parents can’t find…
I don’t know why I do this to me…
I just know that it makes me feel free…
But free for only a moment or two…
Then after a bit I’ll start to feel blue…
Then I’ll cut again but this time more…
And I’ll sit and watch the blood on the floor…
My parents think that nothing is wrong…
That I just don’t know where I belong…
I wish I could stop what I am doing to me…
I wish and I pray to someday be free…
Free from myself and the hatred I feel…
To somehow make myself become real…
Then I would be just like the others…
And be part of the family just like my brothers.
Written For My Devon.
Author notes
I am the Father of a Cutter that I almost lost. She is doing good now but it took time. I dedicate this to my little girl, who I did not understand until it was almost too late. I'm Sorry Devon!
A contest entry
- cutting, depression, suicide, and pix (chex it owt.)XF by redhanded.
550 points, ended December 23, 2008, 19 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Cutters tell me why by Maili Knephthan.
400 points, ended January 15, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Just another emo contest by Abstract Image.
900 points, ended January 5, 17 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
-
Oh, my... I'm so sorry to hear that you had to go through this. I, myself, am the girlfriend of an ex-cutter, and I completely understand where you're coming from.
Those of us who care for someone who self-harms most often feel guilt; things like, "why wasn't I enough to stop the pain", and "why didn't I see the warning-signs" are among the most common. Both sides can get so caught up in their own pain that they don't realize how badly they're hurting the other person.
Indeed, there are some great emotions here, and I hope that writing this has helped you to make peace with yourself and with your daughter. Well done, and thanks for entering.
Best wishes,
Laura, aka Immortal
-
Wow i can't help but cry at this poem because somewhere deep down i wish my parents knew about what I did to myself when i was young. My scars were always on my legs and upper arms when i was 10 but i've since then stopped and my parents never knew...good luck.
-
This was .... amazing and I am glad you know what causes cutters to cut now. It is cutting away the pain. Beautiful tribute to a wonderful young person. Thank you for entering
-
wow, such an intense heartfelt write, i can really understand where you are coming from with this as i have also felt the same way, don't despair when you are really ready it will stop, you will get through it, but only when you are really ready. great write.
-
wow such a great write very intense emotions thru out thanks so much for your entry and best of luck to you in the future and with your writing.
andi
(redhanded)
Adding your comment:
1 - 5 of 5
