The darkness swirls inside my head as nightmares haunt my mind
Your maniacal cackle echoes, waking me with rising terror
I awaken cold with sweat, my heart pounding, breaths gasping
Panic consumes me, riles my waking thoughts with horror
Memories stir; I will never forget the Hell you put me through
Revenge is sweet, Father dearest, and oh so much better cold
And you smiled then at my pain; that was your last mistake.
You remember that, you cold-hearted beast, you damnation of the night
You remember that chill you filled me with each time that you came home
Your hands were never soft and warm as a father’s hands should be
You never saw me as your little girl, you saw me as a whipping girl
You took your anger out on me, you beat me with your rage
You slapped my face, kicked my knees out from beneath
And you smiled then at my pain; that was your last mistake.
I throw back the covers and rise from my bed, my bare feet touch the rug
Black roses rest on my bookshelf, smiling as though they can read my thoughts
My law books have inspired them, they’ve come to cast their lot
I cross the room and pull my journal from the hidden drawer with the lock
This one’s hidden, you demon from Hell, you’ll read this one nevermore
I take it to my rocking chair, tonight let’s see what my thoughts hold
And you smiled then at my pain; that was your last mistake.
I despise you now, you crooked demon, you lying loathsome sot
You begged the court for custody, lied at every turn, and expected me to love you
I love you as much, oh Father dear, as I love the worms
You are a parasite upon me and yet I do not wish you to die,
But rather to live forever with your guilt, oh yes, immortal with your crimes
If I could wish one thing upon you it would be of sweet revenge
And you smiled then at my pain; that was your last mistake.
I wish to see you locked away for life with inmates for your friends
I’ll put you there one day myself, a graduate from an Ivy League Law School
I’ll make you sorry you ever touched me, ever spawned me into this Hell hole
I’ll find a way to charge you with the crimes you thought you’d hide
I’ll see you dance with Bubba before your time on Earth is through
Tonight I go back to bed with a grin: your sentence is paying for your sins
Tonight I smile as I plot my revenge; you’ll pay for that last mistake.
Author notes
True story! I lived with an abusive father for 15 years only to have the court system let him off scot-free because he never put me in the emergency room. I am now a criminal justice major with plans of attending law school to be a prosecuting attorney; I want to put scum like him behind bars - where they belong.
A contest entry
- I Hate You by Still Gonna Shine.
700 points, ended December 30, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Betrayal by Blood by semperfichic.
475 points, ended January 24, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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You remind me of me, i did the CJ thing until i got to law school, realized it just wasn't for me.....i felt that it would be better for me to help people in a different way, so now finished my second BS and now getting ready for med school....I commend you for turning something so hard and negative as a motivation to ensure justice to the masses. It's admirable. I really loved the vivid and dark details of this poem.....Your words and emotions made me feel like I was in that room with you and through this poem I could imagine the pain you have felt. I'm sorry ypu had to endure that but it obviously has made you a strong and remarkable person....it's weird how sometimes tragedy can change our lives for the better. My fav part of this poem was
"You remember that, you cold-hearted beast, you damnation of the night
You remember that chill you filled me with each time that you came home"
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Oh my goodness.
I can totally relate. I was also abused for six years and my father never went to prison for it. you did so good on describing your anger and hatred towards this man that hurt you so deeply. Wonderful job.
Haylee
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amazing. very imaginary
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