BROKEN WINGS
Who finally broke you
Who clipped your wings
Who took the song
that you used to sing
Who stole your smile
that was there in a flash
Who bridled that wild streak
and caused it to crash
Who took the will
that you once called your own
Who killed your friendships
sending you to alone
Who made the choices
to the place you now stand
No fingers need point
for it's inside that hand
-Eddy
©2008 Eddy All rights reserved
A contest entry
- Make this THE largest Contest EVER on AP [enter, enter, enter!] by Symphony.
18000 points, ended April 28, 1087 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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"Who bridled that wild streak
and caused it to crash"
Such imagery - and honest truth throughout this one!
I really enjoyed reading it, and certainly didn't see the ending coming - excellent written, the rhyme was spot on and nowhere was it forced!
thanks for entering
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Profoundly brilliant
WOW...
Gold dust is falling
fantastic and thought provoking.
I loved it.
Thanks
Love peace
campanaro
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Thank you...
Your line of "Gold dust is falling" here could be molded into
a lovely poem or song. I will file that away in mind and see what
pops up down the road...I'm seeing something maybe along the
lines of...
Gold dust is falling
on platinum dreams
Wrapped in the blanket
of wonder it seems...
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ooh i wanted this to run a lil longer because it read so well. the ending was a nice touch though, and this read like silk.
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Not too many words good enough to describe this piece Eddy. A 'masterpiece' is tame.
So many broken wings around me all the time ... and many of them mine.
Sag
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Beautifully put and thought provoking write. It is all so true when one is throwing stones make sure you're not living in a glass house. I like this write very much and I thank you. Happy Holidays and God Bless, Jo-Ann
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very meaningful poem....broken wings ,loneliness ,stolen smile bring some sadness because many times it need not be our own choice...
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And inside the mind, our own will...yes the choices we make. Many people only want credit for the good choices they make, when wrongs ones are made they like to find someone else to blame.
best thing is to live with the right and with the wrong the best we can, what do you think?
I wish you a very happy Christmas Eddy!
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The best thing about assuming responsibility is once we do and see it was our choices that put us there, if we don't like where our choices have put us, we can change them and thereby change the spot where we stand.
Wishing you the very best...hugs
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Nicelly done Eddy, and well put. Yes, it seems we can't blame anyone for our choices but ourselves. Our hands should have fingers that point backwards, to the real source of our problems.
Good to hear from you, and happy holidays, my friend.
Brazos
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Actually in a way we do. When when point one finger toward another
three fingers are pointing back at us...
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