A Winter's Tale

I sit alone in my rocking chair, a journal in my lap
Line after line I scroll away the time, spelling out a map
My map is full of roadblocks, broken dreams, and red stop signs
I pause and wonder to myself if my life was God’s design.

A vase of deep black roses sits upon my window sill
They’re highlighted there by the light of the moon as twilight sends its chill
The cold night air ensnares my heart, it trembles in my chest
Salty tears roll down my face; he doesn’t care that I did my best.

Once the twinkle in the eye of a tyrannous angry man
Now thrown out to the side of the road, a crinkled, empty can
He wanted all his life a handsome boy to follow in his path
Instead he got a gorgeous girl who struggles with her math.

Then the Christmas season came about and he laughed at my dismay
He told me I’d find out what he wanted, but only on Christmas Day
I told my mother tearfully how Father’s words had hurt me so
Then off the phone with the lawyers, she whispered it was time to go.

We rose at dawn at our normal time one cold December morn’
And we loaded the truck with our earthly possessions, not pausing a moment to mourn
We drove away in a bright red truck as snowflakes fell from the sky
And I sat there in the passenger seat, my head bowed low to cry.

Five thousand miles we traveled that month, twelve days before the storm
Before we reached Alaska where my uncle’s home was warm
We left the shores of the old Great Lakes and crossed through Canada’s range
We entered there with snow in our shoes, and pockets full of change.

I sit here now alone instead, in my thrift shop rocking chair
I cry into my cold, chapped hands, “Is this my cross to bear?”
I realize winter’s crawling by, these days it goes so fast
But I wonder sadly to myself, how can this pain last?

And now you know my tale, my friends, of how it came to be
That I moved from Michigan’s Great Lakes shores to an Alaska town by the sea
Five years I’ve carried the burden of a heart broken beyond repair
You’ll remember now the face of the girl with grey eyes and long brown hair.