Blackened Gold

Time goes on, and nothing has changed.
Why this thought lingers I don't know.
When you're near I feel sick, and happy.
I never did like it when it came time to go.

Now I can't say this plague that I carry,
It will spread in a second and destroy what is left.
So I keep to myself, save for the needed outreach,
The heat fleeing from my body is your greatest theft.

I go cold when you're near, and stiff in my actions.
And miss those things that have long gone by.
My stance is awkward, and words go missing.
Then all the plans that I made swiftly go awry.

I don't know what to say and not just anything will do.
With my sudden loss of sleep not easing things one bit.
When conversation slows to a hault the truth is all I see.
And even if you ask, my situation is hard to admit.

As I wish this to end tonight and the truth to pass over my lips.
You say good-night, and go without embrace,
I leave this to myself, words left unspoken, burden held once more.
I watch you go, only for now, as you see the smile slide from my face.